ive always been skinny and my parents are relatively lean. they were skinny in their teenage years too. whenever i overreact because the food is so delicious and i cant stop, i feel like a glutton and the feeling of being full makes me sick. im also terrified of gaining weight and becoming fat. im taller than average and sometimes i skip meals to stay skinny but then im always hungry due to my fast metabolism and i just eat in secret. i don’t want people knowing how much i can eat and when people say that im eating a lot i suddenly feel very insecure. and it just makes me annoyed when people keep asking me to eat more, gain weight, or comparing their wrist size to mine. i want to stay skinny but im just so afraid of eating.
Thank you for sharing something so personal, @clearheadedchinchilla7737.
It seems like you feel caught between two things: a need to stay in control of your body, and a natural hunger that keeps pushing back. The secrecy around eating, guilt after meals, fear of fullness, and anxiety about weight aren’t just quirks or bad habits. Together, they suggest that food has become a source of distress for you, and that’s worth taking seriously.
Being naturally slim doesn’t mean your relationship with food is healthy, and it’s possible to look fine on the outside while struggling on the inside. You deserve support that goes beyond “just eat more” or “you look fine.”
I’d encourage you to speak with a counsellor or trusted adult, not because something is broken, but because you shouldn’t have to carry this level of anxiety around something as everyday as eating. You deserve to feel at peace with food, not afraid of it. Will you be willing to try speaking with your school counsellor perhaps?