Dear Rachelle,
I am so sorry to hear about your losses and the abuse and trauma you have endured in the span of the last few months! The compounded pain and trauma must have been overwhelming to say the least. I wonder who else knows about what you have experienced? How have you been coping? Losing both your first love and best friend on top of trauma and abuse can leave you feeling isolated, devastated and in despair. For you to still be able to fight on, to try and move on, and cope is really admirable and demonstrates just how much resilience and strength lies within you. I really want to commend you on that. What’s more you are able to look for avenues of help and have the courage to reach out and share your struggles, that is just admirable! 
I want to begin with asking first and foremost if you are safe right now? I am mindful that you shared about trauma and physical abuse which ‘almost ruined my (your) life’. May I please ask if you might still be experiencing any abuse at all? If you are, please know that you are not alone and there is help available! Please call the National Anti-violence Hotline at 1800-777-0000, should you be or should you ever be in danger again.
Secondly, the nature of trauma is such that fragmented parts of ourselves gets stuck back there back then, and our body gets stuck in re-enactments and in survival mode, whether that be fight, flight, freeze, fawn/please and so on. It’s like a broken record that is stuck at one part of a song, unable to go on. Thus, what you are describing about not being able to stay in the present is indicative of the body’s trauma response. The fact that you are aware of and desirous of moving on is good insight and a step in the right direction although I’d imagine your frustration at not being able to move on fast enough. May I encourage you to be patient with yourself and extend truckloads of love and compassion on yourself as you amble along on your healing and recovery journey. 
Recovering from trauma is a complex process and often it might be essential to seek professional help. Here are some steps you can consider to aid in your recovery:
- Safety and Stabilization:
- Ensure physical safety and create a stable environment
- Establish routines and healthy coping mechanisms such as regular sleep routines, eating well and exercising regularly
- Seek Trauma-informed Professional Support:
- Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR, Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems Therapy or other trauma-focused therapy can be helpful
- Be open to consider medication: Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may be prescribed if necessary
- Self-Care and Coping Strategies:
- Practice mindfulness, deep breathing, and grounding techniques
- Engage in activities you enjoy and connect with supportive people.
- Building Resilience:
- Strengthen emotional resilience through self-compassion and self-care
- Foster healthy relationships and social connections.
Remember that healing is a journey, and everyone’s experience is unique. Seek professional guidance and be patient with yourself. Here are some resources for your consideration:
Touch Community Services: 1800-377-2252
Care Corner Counselling Centre: 1800-353-5800
eCounselling Centre (Fei Yue): ec2.sg - Fei Yue
LimitlessSG: https://www.limitless.sg/
Take time to grief, take time to heal, there is really no rush. Take good care of yourself, Rachelle. 
Hugs, northernlights