I have been in my head all the time these days. I get forget easily. I am restless all the time. I cannot stay at the moment. My mind is always in the past or future. I always blame myself for all the mistakes I do and everytime I do a mistake, I feel like it’s the end of the world. I am afraid of disappointing people. I am always swinging moods. I sometimes just want to hurt myself to make the feeling better.
Thank you for being so courageous to share your true feelings and thoughts on this platform, I commend you for that. It’s not easy to be open and vulnerable and yet you still chose to be.
I am really sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time, and it sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of distressing thoughts and emotions right now such as restlessness, confusion, guilt, and swinging moods. I want to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is real, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Sometimes feeling forgetful, restless, and unable to stay in the present moment can be signs of anxiety and racing thoughts. It’s common for our minds to wander, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can be distressing. It’s also common to be self-critical, but it’s important to remember that making mistakes is a part of being human (every one does!), and making mistakes doesn’t define your worth.
I can imagine how you feel about disappointing others - this fear of disappointing people can indeed be a heavy burden to carry. I would like you to know that you have inherent value, and your worth is not solely determined by others’ expectations or judgments.
Perhaps it would be good for you to try out this activity to see how you’re feeling emotionally and mentally - it would be a good place to start as the simple assessment can point you to the right direction:
Take A Free Mental Health Self-Assessment Test | mindline.sg (click on let’s begin!)
Also, I’m really concerned to hear that you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm. This is a serious matter, and I strongly urge you to reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life who can provide immediate support. Please do contact these personnels if you are in crisis or danger:
- SOS: 1-767
- SOS whatsapp: Share on WhatsApp
- -IMH - 63892222
I want to affirm you that it’s okay to seek help and support during times like these. You don’t have to figure out these feelings on your own, and there are professionals who specialize in helping individuals who are going through emotional distress. Your well-being is important, and there are ways to work through these challenges and find healthier ways to cope.
For example, try these activities to help you manage your feelings:
- If you feel restless: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
- If you feel anxious: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
- If you have many negative thoughts: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
Last but not least, please consider talking to a therapist, counselor, or a mental health crisis hotline as soon as possible as they can provide you with the guidance and support you need to manage these overwhelming thoughts and emotions. You don’t have to suffer in silence, and there is hope for a better future.
Please do keep us updated about what your next step is and how you’re coping, we’d love to continue to support you here on this platform.
Thanks for sharing so vulnerably, @Iwantpeace. How long have you been feeling this way?
I don’t know what’s going on with me like… everything can be going perfectly in my life and i would still want to kill myself
Starting to feel like i am actually the problem. I don’t even think my diagnosis of Adjustment disorder with depressed moods has anything to do with it anymore because like i said, everything can be perfect and smooth and i would still have those thoughts im actually starting to give up alr. I want to fight yes, but how man. I’ve moved from people to people. Ft to teacher-counsellor to year head to senior school counsellor to flexi adjunct sch counsellor to another fajsc to psychologist to another psychologist. Going thru the same safety plan, going to many online chatlines such as sos caretext, ec2, tinkle friends, etc . Im losing hope in my recovery at this point i dw the thoughts to lessen, i want them gone. I want a normal teenage life
I hear you, and I’m truly sorry you’re going through this. It’s really disheartening when the weight of these thoughts persists despite everything appearing fine on the outside. I can imagine how it’s like to feel like the problem rests within you, but I want to gently encourage you - that your struggles do not define your worth.
I can also empathise with you that you’ve tried talking to different professionals, and it’s understandable that the repetition of safety plans and consultations might feel discouraging when these thoughts persist.
My friend, you’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed by these persistent thoughts. I want to encourage you that healing isn’t always a linear journey, and it’s more about finding the right strategies that work for you personally. I want to acknowledge your strength in continually seeking help and being willing to fight against these thoughts, even when it feels like an exhausting battle.
I would like you to please reach out to a professional especially if you feel really exhausted and overwhelmed by these thoughts, as I want you to be safe. These are some numbers and contacts that you should keep with you all the time:
- SOS: 1-767
- SOS whatsapp
- IMH - 63892222
Last but not least, I affirm you, it’s entirely valid to yearn for a normal teenage life and to desire freedom from these thoughts. You’re 100% deserving of a life without this heavy burden. Keep in mind that progress might not always be immediately noticeable, but your efforts in reaching out and your courage to persist despite this challenging situation are commendable :')
Please do continue to engage in the resources that provide you with support and comfort, and remember that the right solution might take time to emerge. Your journey is unique, and the right path to healing will be as well.
Remember - You’re not alone, we’re here to support you. Please keep us updated on how you are, okay? We’re rooting for you.