Sometimes my friends talk to me about their issues and I want to help them but I don’t know the right words to say. I usually just keep probing them with questions to further understand what’s bothering them but I feel like there’s another part to it where I have to take all this info I’ve gathered from them and say something profound that’ll change their perspective. I’ve heard all people want in the end is someone to listen to them, but I don’t know if that’s enough for some people, isn’t it like talking to a wall sometimes?
Yeah basically just how can I support and be there for my friends when they are down?
I hear you and see you. it’s relatable in a friendship to want to be there for your friends as they are there for you when you are down.
Wanna encourage you that you can gently ask them if they need a listening ear or advice/ suggestion - it may help also if they know what support look like to them- as different people, different interpretation of what support is.
The difference between talking to the wall and lending a listening ear:
Talking to a wall is when you tell someone your issues and they just keep quiet where as lending a listening ear/ being there for them, you are listening but at the same time when they don’t know what else to say already then there’s a part where you as the listening ear/ being there for them can paraphrase / clarify / validate what they say example:
when you say your issues are like - I feel down as I am sick then the other party who is lending a listening ear/ being there for you can go like - I hear you and correct me if I am wrong but you are saying you’re feeling down as you are unwell, and that makes sense as you are unwell and you cant do what you plan to do for the day.
Summary:
Its like a ping pong game but you are listening to the person and not taking to the wall as the other party who is lending the listening ear/ being there for the person is also trying to understand where the sharer is coming from. I hope it is clear for you if not feel free to clarify
its empathic of you to want to help, but some ppl just need a listening ear and to be validated. If their issues are very complicated such as abuse, can encourage them to seek help here or call Sos
hello, I see that you are actively helping your friends by giving a listening ear, which is really encouraging. I also believe that sometimes, your friends may just want a listening ear to hear their problems and may not necessarily be looking for any suggestions, so by being here for them, it does bring them encouragement <3
