I feel like no one ever validates my feelings

Ask a Therapist Coping
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I want to know some ways to cope with depression and anxiety

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Hi @Lauren

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this platform. I’m so sorry to hear that you feel that no one seems to validate your feelings. This is a very real concern and I’m glad that you have come to this place to share this heaviness with us. Perhaps it would be good for you to share with us how you feel too, that would help us to understand better where you’re coming from.

And yes sure! I’ll be happy to answer your question on how to cope with depression and anxiety.

Before I share the strategies, I’m wondering what your experiences are with depression and anxiety? Both depression and anxiety are very different mental health issues and can present different signs and symptoms too. It would also be helpful to know if you’ve had any diagnosis from any mental health professional, and whether you’ve noticed some of the signs and symptoms of depression and anxiety too?

Let me share a few signs and symptoms of each of them:
Depression - Persistent sadness, loss of appetite, irritability, poor self-esteem, negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts, social withdrawal, etc.

Anxiety - Excessive worry, rapid heartbeat, avoidance behaviour, negative thoughts, overthinking, shortness of breath, etc.

Please know that these symptoms above are not the complete list of signs and symptoms but may show up differently with different intensities in different people too.

It would be good to have an assessment if you have noticed some of the signs but have not been diagnosed.

For coping strategies, here are some suggestions:

There are many other ways to cope with depression and anxiety, but the most important thing is to make sure that you get the help and support that you need. For you to receive this help, please ensure that you contact a mental health professional to guide you through this journey. You can start by contacting any of these counselling lines to help you to assess your current needs:
Limitless : Talk To Someone - Limitless
CPH chat : https://www.cphonlinecounselling.sg/hc/en-us
IMH CHAT : https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Pages/default.aspx
ec2.sg : https://fycs.org/ec2-sg

Last but not least, I encourage you to continue seeking support - either from a mental health professional or continue to share with us your thoughts and feelings on this platform. We are here for you :slight_smile: Let us know how you’re doing!

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My experinces with depression and anxiety is that i get constantly nervous around people , negetive thoughts , social withdraw , sucidal thoughts and i get shortness of breath around people and i have poor self esteem . I started this symptoms after being in a new school where i felt lonely as no one wanted to talk to me and everyone always thought i was okay just because i put a smile on face . Whenever i try to confide in them and tell them my problems , they dont listen and just changes the topic back to their problems . I feel lonely and i just dont know how to cope with this lonliness , i feel like no one understands me . They always expect me to solve their problems for them and i just feel very stressed .

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Hi @Lauren

Thank you for sharing more details about how you feel, about your experiences of being in a new school. I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve been going through such a difficult and lonely time. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your experiences, and I want you to know that I’m here to listen and support you. I can imagine how overwhelming it might feel for you as the symptoms (e.g. constant nervousness, negative thoughts, social withdrawal, and suicidal thoughts) are all very real and challenging to cope with.
Starting in a new school and feeling lonely can be an incredibly isolating experience. It can be especially disheartening when you try to share your feelings with others, and they seem preoccupied with their own issues. Sometimes when we feel lonely and when others do not understand us truly, it can be incredibly tough to bear. I would like you to remember that you’re not alone, and there are people who genuinely care and want to help.

I have some resources that you might find helpful, please do try them out especially when you feel the anxiety creeping up:

  1. When you feel nervous and anxious, try deep breathing to help regulate your emotions and breathing - https://mindline.sg/youth/?wysa_tool_id=deep_breathing
  2. When you have negative thoughts, challenge and replace them with more positive and realistic ones. For example, instead of thinking “I’m terrible at socializing,” try thinking “I’m working on improving my social skills, and it’s okay to make mistakes.” You can also try out this tool to counter negative thoughts: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
  3. When you feel like your mind is all over the place, you can declutter your mind through this activity: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

I would also like to encourage you to try to speak to a mental health professional about your suicidal thoughts and feelings – it can be someone from your school such as your school counsellor, or a counsellor from these online options too:

And most importantly, if you feel too overwhelmed or are in immediate danger, please reach out to a crisis hotlines:

Last but not least, I’m here to support you, and I hope that you will also reach out for more immediate help for yourself. Let me know what you decide to do and how you’re coping, I look forward to hearing from you again.

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Hi i recently been through a lot of stressful events, and i have been thinking about ending my life and i was wondering if you have any methods to distract myself about this thought .

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Hi @Lauren

Are you currently seeking any professional help? Like seeing a counsellor or psychologist?

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No but i went for counselling once .

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Hey @Lauren

How was your experience going for counselling? I’m asking cause I feel it might be good to seek professional help to talk about things that is overwhelming you and explore ways to cope.

However there are also skills that you can try out. Not sure if you’ve heard/ tried distress tolerance skills.

Here are some examples (there are many more that you can search):

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Hope these helps! Take care and keep us updated on how you’re doing!

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Thank you for your help :pray: i am really grateful to have someone that is able to give advice without judging me . My experience with counselling was good and it helped me to feel better about myself

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