Yesterday went out with a friend. I paid for the hot pot (she said she is gnna pay my back) and yet, she chose 80% of the things like i didnt matter. And when i did choose, she said “idl it” i made a small joke and she said “dont make me angry” what the hell did i do to make her angry?
Then i realised that my family is the same. I tell them to not do a certain thing and they would say “ok, i get it” and yet never ever do it. Like say i tell them to not get this flavour of thing, they would still do the same thibg and get mad if i didnt eat it! My silbing wants to start a business, yet im doing majority of the work while he complains, he also suggests things that i seemingly cannot oppose
Most of my friendships are also like this, i tell them my boundary and either they comoly for a week, or they slowly unfriend me
Hey @Mmmmeeow. That sounds exhausting, honestly. To keep asserting your needs and then watch them be ignored again and again can really wear someone down. No wonder you’re sad.
Something I really want to acknowledge is that you are trying. You’re communicating. You’re setting boundaries. Which are great, by the way! The fact that some people pull away when you do that says more about their capacity to respect others than about your worth as a friend or family member.
Sometimes, when people are used to us being flexible or agreeable, boundaries feel uncomfortable to them, and then instead of reflecting, they react with irritation or distance. That doesn’t make your boundaries wrong. It just means you’re changing a pattern that once benefited them.
I hope you can be kind to yourself as you sit with all of this. What you’re asking for isn’t unreasonable, it’s basic respect.
May you find the strength to honour yourself even when it feels uncomfortable. And may you one day feel what it’s like to be in relationships where effort flows both ways
Hi there, thanks for sharing something so personal. It makes so much sense that you’re feeling sad and frustrated. What you’re describing isn’t just about one friend or one situation. It feels like a pattern where your boundaries and needs are being overlooked, and that’s really painful. When people repeatedly ignore your preferences, dismiss your opinions, or make you feel like your input doesn’t matter, it’s completely normal to feel hurt, invisible, and exhausted.
It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, and your boundaries are valid too. You are allowed to expect respect and consideration from the people around you, even if they don’t always meet those expectations. The fact that your friends, family, or siblings sometimes disregard your wishes or make you feel unheard isn’t a reflection of your worth, it’s a reflection of how they’re choosing to act.
Feeling this way is hard, and it’s okay to acknowledge your sadness without judging yourself. Protecting your needs and taking care of your emotional well-being doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you human. You don’t have to tolerate consistent disrespect or dismissal. It’s okay to step back from people who repeatedly ignore your boundaries and to invest your energy in relationships where you feel seen, heard, and valued.
Even though it’s painful, remember that you are not alone in this. Many people struggle with setting boundaries and feeling overlooked, and that doesn’t make you wrong or overreactive. Your experiences matter, your feelings matter, and you deserve to be treated with the care and respect that you give to others:)
The fact that some people pull away when you do that says more about their capacity to respect others than about your worth as a friend or family member.