I usually overthinking about my relationship with my friend group. They always include me in stuff and try to make me fit in but I always cant helo but overthink that they dont want me to be here. I sometimes dont feel wanted when my friends accidently forgot about me. And I remember overthinking so bad I cried and cried. I even scratched myself too hard. I feel guilty when I did that. And for the past few days I want to cry. I also dont want to get better..because I want somebody to notice me. But I also refuse to tell it to anyone and rather to keep it to my friends. Is this normal? I am not sure if it is.
Hey @ais ,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts even though you didn’t feel like people should know how you felt. Reading this, it sounds like you have learned, over time, to expect being overlooked. When that happens often enough, even genuine inclusion can feel uncertain.
The guilt afterward makes sense too. Needing comfort, and then judging yourself is a painful loop.
I want to name something clearly: writing here doesn’t mean you’re “seeking attention” in a bad way. And right now, you are being noticed. Your words matter, and they’re being taken seriously.
I also want to share that safety comes first. If the urge to scratch shows up again, it’s a sign that things are getting overwhelming. At any point when this feels too heavy to hold on your own, I hope that you can reach out for support. There is a National Mindline 1771 or WhatsApp +65 6669 1771 lets you talk to someone confidentially. If you feel at risk of hurting yourself, SOS 1767 is there any time.
For now, slow things down, whenever you feel ready to respond.
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Thank you for helping me. I always felt that I wanted someone just one person to listen to my problems and I always had nobody to reach out and even if I do I feel like Im an attention seeker and thinking Im dumping my problems to them making myself a burden. So I always kept it to myself wishing for someone to notice me. Posting this here was something that I was conflicted as I thought my problem is not even that bad when I read other people’s problems. I will try to talk to the number you have given me.
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I want you to know that wanting one person to listen isn’t a big or unreasonable ask. It’s actually very human. What’s been painful is that each time the need shows up, it gets shut down by shame (the idea that needing support automatically means you’re attention-seeking or burdening others).
That belief didn’t come out of nowhere. When someone grows up or lives in situations where their feelings aren’t consistently met, they often learn to minimise themselves. They compare, downplay, and tell themselves “others have it worse, so I shouldn’t speak.” Over time, the need doesn’t disappear, it just goes underground. That’s when wishing to be noticed quietly starts to make sense.
I want to say this gently: pain doesn’t work on a ranking system. Your experience doesn’t become invalid because someone else is struggling differently or more loudly. The fact that you’ve been holding everything inside, feeling alone and cryingwhen it gets too much, that already tells us it matters.
Posting here, even with conflict and doubt, was not nothing. It was you testing whether it’s safe to be seen. And now you’re taking another step by considering calling or messaging for support. That’s responding to a real need.
When you reach out to the service, you don’t have to justify how “bad” things are. You don’t need the perfect words. You’re allowed to say, “I’ve been keeping everything to myself and I don’t know how to talk about it.” That’s enough to start.
For now, just take this one step. Let someone hold this with you for a bit. You’re not wrong for wanting to be heard. And you don’t have to disappear in order to deserve care. 
Dear @ais,
Thanks for sharing this, even though it sounds like part of you wasn’t sure if you should. From what you’ve written, it seems like you’ve gotten used to being overlooked or left out over time. When that happens enough, it makes sense that even when people do include you, it’s hard to fully trust it. Your mind stays on guard, watching for signs that you might be forgotten again. Being ignored like that really does leave a mark.
So when friends forget to reply or get busy, it’s not just about a missed message for you. It feels bigger, like it’s asking the question of whether you actually matter to them.
The crying and scratching sound like moments when everything you’ve been holding in just spills over. And then feeling guilty afterwards makes sense, too. It’s really painful to need comfort and then judge yourself for needing it. That’s a tough cycle to be stuck in.
I’d also like to acknowledge your courage in reaching out on this platform. I hear that you are reaching out because you’ve felt unseen for a long time, and that’s completely valid. The overthinking you mentioned usually comes from fear and insecurity, rather than being “dramatic” or “too much”.
In addition to the resources @fuyuan_affections previously mentioned, there is a platform called First Stop for Mental Health, available at mindline.sg. This platform can direct you to professional resources, such as face-to-face counselling, if you feel that it is necessary.
For now, you may wish to take things at your own pace, and respond when you feel ready.
Resources: mindline.sg | First Stop for Mental Health Support in Singapore
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