Long ranting

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
1

I hate when people around me say “u can talk to me if ur feeling down” and then when I actually need to seek help they just fund it annoying and left it’s so annoying to me and it’s been happening so many times I genuinely didn’t want to tell anyone my problems anymore

I used to sh and I try to move on without telling anymore people about my stupid past and I wish I can meet the perfect people that’s actually willing to see me as a priority and will always check up on me

I have so many friends and yet I genuinely feel like no one notices me at all especially my family since I’m genuinely bad looking and boring and everyone has their own important friend group or people and I genuinely have nothing I feel like if I were to go missing one day no one will notice I feel like I’m nvr enough no matter how hard I try

2

Hi @Zombie_loser,

You said you hate it when people say “you can talk to me” and then seem annoyed when you actually do. Reading that, it sounds painful more than irritating. Hurt. Rejected. Disappointed. When that keeps happening, it makes sense that the feeling shifts from sadness into something sharper, maybe even disgust. Like, don’t offer if you don’t mean it.

When someone offers support and then withdraws it, that can feel like a small betrayal. So a part of you deciding “I just won’t tell anyone anymore” is a protective move. It’s what people do when they’ve been let down repeatedly.

You mentioned you used to self-harm. I want to pause there. Strong emotions like anger and hurt need somewhere to go. When there isn’t a safe outlet, they can turn inward. That means the intensity didn’t have space. But directing anger at yourself is the one path that reduces you instead of protecting you.

Before we go further, I need to check this clearly. When you say, “if I were to go missing one day no one will notice,” are you safe right now? Have any urges to hurt yourself returned recently? I’m asking directly because your safety comes first.

There’s also a pattern in the thoughts you described:

  • “No one notices me.”
  • “I’m bad looking.”
  • “I’m boring.”
  • “I’m never enough.”

After repeated rejection, the brain tries to explain it. When you start isolating to avoid being hurt again, your social world shrinks. When it shrinks, the mind reads that as evidence that you don’t matter. That’s how negative automatic thoughts grow and slowly lower self-esteem.

I also want to separate something gently: how you look is not the same as your worth. How much attention you receive is not the same as your value. But when belonging feels unstable, the brain merges those together. It starts guessing, “If I were better looking or more interesting, people would stay.” That’s mind-reading. It feels convincing, but it’s still an interpretation, not a fact.

Right now the priority isn’t finding perfect people. The desire to feel prioritised makes sense. But stabilising your sense of belonging starts by slowing down the conclusion that “I don’t matter,” instead of accepting it automatically.

When someone doesn’t respond the way you hoped, what hits harder? anger toward them, or shame about yourself?

1 Like
3

I rarely feel safe no matter who I’m with especially with my parents since I’m their least favorite and it’s obvious they dislike me a lot. It’s been 4 months since I last sh but recently my parents have been hating me even more over mistakes I didn’t do, they really hate when I show any negative emotions even at the slightest so I can only take my anger on myself. Ive been lacking attention from everyone and makes me crush on people more easily not just because of true love but because they gave me attention but I end up losing them after confession

I really blame myself I really don’t know what I did wrong

4

@Zombie_loser,

You said you rarely feel safe, especially at home, and that your parents seem to dislike you. I’m taking that seriously. When negative emotions are not allowed or are criticised quickly, it can create a constant sense of tension.

You also shared that it’s been 4 months since you last self-harmed. That reflects effort and restraint. At the same time, you mentioned the anger building again when things at home feel unfair. When anger cannot be expressed safely, it often turns inward.

I need to check clearly: are you safe right now? Have the urges to self-harm returned, or are they thoughts you’re managing?

About “my parents hate me”, I won’t dismiss that feeling. Feeling disliked or unwanted is real and painful. In many families, care can be expressed through criticism, comparison, or strict control, without much emotional validation. That can easily feel like rejection. Even if the intention is correction, the emotional impact on you still matters.

You wrote:
“I’ve been lacking attention from everyone and it makes me crush on people more easily… not just because of true love but because they gave me attention… but I end up losing them after confession. I really blame myself. I really don’t know what I did wrong.”

There is a strong pattern of self-blame in that. When someone has felt emotionally under-attended for a while, attention can feel significant and relieving. That does not mean your feelings are fake. It means connection carries more weight because it has been limited.

Developing feelings quickly in that context is understandable. It reflects a need for closeness and reassurance. When you confess and the other person steps back, the mind looks for an explanation. The quickest explanation often becomes, “It’s my fault.” “I did something wrong.” That conclusion feels logical because it gives a sense of control. But it may not be accurate.

There are many possible reasons someone pulls away:
They were not ready for something serious.
They did not expect the intensity.
They were unsure how to respond.
They lacked emotional maturity.
Those possibilities do not automatically mean you are defective.

When you repeat “I blame myself,” over time that becomes part of your internal voice. That kind of self-talk can lower self-esteem and make every future rejection feel like confirmation.

It also sounds like you have been managing most of this on your own. Friends may say “you can talk to me,” but many people are not equipped to handle topics like self-harm, family invalidation, and attachment struggles. Their withdrawal can feel like rejection, but sometimes it reflects limited skills rather than lack of care.

Given your history of self-harm, feeling unsafe, and strong self-blame, professional support would be appropriate. A counsellor or mental health professional is trained to work with anger, shame, and attachment patterns without stepping away. That kind of consistent support can help examine the belief “I am the problem” more carefully.

For now, the priorities are:

  1. Ensuring your safety.
    Finding ways to release anger that do not harm you.

  2. Separating attention from personal worth.

  3. Slowing down automatic self-blame.

When someone gives you attention and it feels intense, what do you notice in your body first; relief, excitement, calm, tension?

And again, are you safe tonight? If the urge to harm yourself becomes difficult to manage, please contact:
-SOS: 1767
-National Mindline: 1771
-WhatsApp: 6669 1771

Support from trained professionals can provide stability that peers may not be able to offer.

1 Like