I hate having short hair

My parents like short hair. It reminded them of how “adorable” and “cute” i was as a kid maybe now i’m a teen and i growing older each day they regret and miss the time when i was a child. but honestly it’s not my fault, during my preteens they were always their phones and working overtime. i understand if they are busy but even they have gotten more toxic n emotionally abusive. thus our relationship soured (apparently they blamed it on me). so they think that by keeping my hair short it is a way to remind them of who i was as a child rather than who i am now.

But i absolutely DESPISE AND AM DISGUSTED by the look of having short hair. i once had silky long jet black hair which was my best feature and most prized possession but now it’s my biggest insecurity. In many parts of the world having long luscious hair was the beauty standards and so was mine. short hair just rly doesn’t look good on me and it’s not hard to manage. period. My hair is rly straight so it doesn’t require maintenance but it’s just another excuse they came up with.

i used to be rly confident of my looks but now i can’t even look in the mirror or go outside without spending more than half an hour on makeup

I do buy extensions but they are just simply uncomfortable and my parents wld probably throw them away if they knew

i think this dread of having short hair was when i was a kid i was often ostracised or i rarely had any friends was cuz my personality was pretty rough and “violent”??But now i guess i’ve i gotten more courtesy i’m better but i still associate the trauma of being ostracised with short hair.