I can’t tell if this is normal 
I tend to keep myself busy so that I do not find my life meaningless. When I slow down, I tend to feel depressed and time to time suicidal. Hence, I always keep myself busy. I am okay with working more than 1 jobs or sometimes being told what to do because it gives me a purpose in life… Which is why I multitask a lot too
Hi @user1394 
What you’re going through reminds me of my past experiences. I tend to schedule smth everyday so that I’m always doing something, so I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts. But recently, I tried slowing down and facing the music, and I think I’ve been more at peace with myself since.
- Reframing my mindset from “Omg, I’m wasting so much time lying in bed. I could be doing…” to “My mind and body need the break. I’ve been working so hard.” Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
- Address your feelings. Can you identify any triggers? What specific concrete things/experiences are making you feel depressed?
- Create healthy coping mechanisms. When stressed or depressed, how do you cope? How do you relieve it? For me, I find that moving my body, even for 5 mins, or eating something I enjoy, or venting out to my friends or my notes app help me a lot.
- Sit in silence for 10 minutes a day. This will be very uncomfortable, you will feel restless and want to get up and do something. But try to let your mind wander, process your experiences and feelings. Or simply zone out and listen to your breath. This helps me calm my mind down when I get too overwhelmed.
- If all else fails, and your suicidal thoughts persist, seek professional help. There is no shame in leaning on somebody and learning how to take care of yourself.
haha, im the opposite. i get depressed n suicidal when working. wish that im u instead