Lowkey I just need to rant
Idk I’m just trying to do the best at things that I like to do and I’ve stopped thinking about things that have happened before but it’s like—I look at people around me that are just doing better than me and suddenly I feel like crap and I don’t know what im doing? Like im supposed to do school and do exams and stuff and just when im thinking ill be okay this like wave of nausea hits me when I realise other people are probably better at this crap than I am and they’re actually actively doing it and now the subjects that I am usually good at because I have keen interest just fade away and now I feel like everything’s a load of crap. Everything just is and I feel crappy about that. It’s so hard when everything is made out to be a competition and I can’t NOT stop trying because if I don’t do something I’ll Actually never get anywhere because if I don’t do well for O-Levels suddenly it’s all going to crap and I’ll never really do anything that I want to do — and it’s like why am I doing this anymore it’s just so hard to keep afloat and think about the things I like and people say “think positive” and it’s like girl how? How when I legit have only thoughts that I’ll fail? I know I’m good at things but when i lose love for them suddenly I realise without that love for the subject, I’m essentially done? And now I’ve lost love for most of the things that I like and I just want to curl up in a hole and sleep because I hate feeling so endlessly hopeless.
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you’re so real for this im sm taking Os this year too im freaking out too. jst know ure not alone in this
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Hi OP,
Yeah, I get that feeling somewhat. That was me during my uni years. My batchmates were all going so far ahead of me, doing more creative and bold projects. Meanwhile, I was there trying to just survive with an okay grade. What mattered to me was just to graduate. Then, after I graduated, I grieved for a while for the wasted opportunity. I didn’t explore creatively, I stayed inside all day, I felt like crap almost every day, and my passion for things I enjoy was mostly gone. I just wanted to sleep forever and not wake up the next day.
I don’t like the advice to just “think positive” because there are times where we just can’t. Sometimes…things just suck! And that’s just how it is! For me personally, I’d prefer thinking like, “well, I feel like crap these past few days, so I’ll be a little kinder to myself and take it easy.” We are human, and we will feel the downs in life. It’s best to get acquainted with that crappy feeling in order to move on and keep going.
I hope things will be better for you in the long run. All the best, and wishing you better days 
hi @Chicken_rice, I understand the olevel year can get kind of hectic and stressful. What helped me through it was celebrating small wins, such as finishing a practice question and an improvement I made. Another thing that helped me was also confiding in my parents and friends when things get tough. Rooting for you! 
All the best for you O levels as well! Remember to also take breaks between revising 
I get you so much 
It’s so way to compare to those around us when it’s obvious too.
Might not help for you but what did for me was downloading like an app to track my study hours. And this way I had like numbers to remind myself of the work and effort that I’m putting in. So in a way I can’t gaslight myself into believing I’m doing nothing. Cuz even when the panic paralysed me I still tried to do something and I celebrated that win.
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hey @Chicken_rice, it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now, it must be really tough :(( i just want to encourage you, as i was once in your position too! it felt really dark, stressful and hopeless - wondering when i’ll ever catch up to my friends. however, i found that as cliche as it is, comparison really is the thief of joy… when we constantly look at what others are doing better, we forget to see the beauty in our own progress and how far we’ve come 
and you gta give urself credit when its due 
the truth is, we were all created differently, each with our own strengths and weaknesses (both of them is what makes us uniquely us!). you don’t have to force yourself to feel positive all the time - its okay to feel what you’re feeling. your emotions are valid, and you’re allowed to sit with them. what’s more important is to not let those feelings consume you, or convince you that you’ve failed. because that isn’t true!!! there’s really so much more in store for you and i :"))
one thing that really stood out to me from your rant was the part where you mentioned “i’ll never really do anything that i want to do" – honestly, i think its really admirable to feel so strongly for your passions and if you’d want, you could come up with small actionable steps you can take to get there! this is your path - and no 2 paths are the same 
sometimes, life takes us on winding paths and we may go down bumpy roads. we don’t have to race against others, as it is our own journey! who knows where life will take others.. but what we know is that we can do our best where we’re at, and find peace in the bumps and twists~~
please know that you aren’t alone in this! acknowledging how you feel right now is the first step to finding your way forward. you’re still growing, and you’re still trying - that’s what matters 
sending you strength in your journey ahead, you’ve got this 