im so dumb, and I’m so bad at every possible thing to ever exist. I tried so hard but still failed. I’m still trying for some reason but I know that failure is awaiting me at the end of the tunnel. I really want to give up on everything. I envy those people who can actually enjoy being a student, working hard, getting into a good uni and reap the fruits of their labour, then go on and fulfil their dreams. but it’s never going to happen for me. life has taught me that, again and again. I tried not to listen, but the truth is, i just overestimated myself. a lot. And it’s all going to end this year. everything I’ve dreamed for, everything I’ve worked for. after november, null. the laughter I had with my friends. the nights spent crying. will all be memory. ive lost hope, I think. I’m sorry this sounds so heavy. i cant really carry this for much longer. ill lose everything this year. nothing was ever real and i won’t feel glad that it ended. I don’t want to get out of this because there’s nothing awaiting me on the other side either.
Hi @sweetgardenia6996. You’re not dumb alright? I believe there are things whereby you’re good at too and that you’ve not discovered. What you’ve described sounds like you’re in tremendous amount of pain and it’s building for a while. The exhaustion of trying hard and feeling like it keeps not being enough. The grief of watching something you cared about come to an end. That’s real, and it makes sense that it’s weighing on you.
Just to clarify, are you taking A’levels this year?
thanks for replying… yes, i have my As this year, im just tired of trying and not getting any improvements, it’s been two years and i feel like ive learnt nothing, the more i feel like that the more i doubt myself and the less im able to do anything, its a vicious cycle. i feel like a zombie and i dont even know why im even bothering to stay up late to study for my mock exams. ihave to surround myself with a million distractions to start studying to keep myself from having a breakdown every time. I want to to give up… i really don’t see any reason to keep going…