I made the mistake of making frens w only ppl w mental health issues thinking that theres a default connection. Turns out that they will only text me when they have problems and reject me asking them out but they have no problems hanging out w their other frens.
This led me to being burnt out from digging the internet for them, talking to them n and end up alone in my room on weekends cuz they dont wanna hang and making excuses all the time.
Reason why i only befriend ppl w mental health issues is because i had bad experiences for meetups with ânormalâ ppl. Ppl kinda shunned after i said that im not working cuz im recovering from mental health issues. Lying was pointless cuz they kept probing. Due to that experience, i started chatting w ppl w mh issues online n got to hang out w them. No judgements from them so i continued this way for a very long time even after i got better. Loneliness is still an issue. Current frens n new frens only want to meet once a year, so im stuck in this cycle.
I had became mentally healthier going for boardgame meetups where ppl just show up and chat. They dont talk much about careers n just talk about games. I think its fine for now. Havent really made any frens yet but the ppl r very frenly. There r certain things that i dont like about it n do get a lil bored over some games. I am looking for other interest groups that r like this but havent found anything much
Hey @user1138, it sounds like youâve been through a lot of trial and error with friendship. First feeling judged or shunned by ânormalâ groups when you shared honestly about your mental health, then leaning on friendships with people who also struggle but finding those connections draining and one-sided. It makes sense why you ended up feeling burnt out and lonely. You wanted mutual connection, but instead you were giving much more than you were receiving 
.
I think itâs really self-aware of you to notice that you actually feel healthier in spaces like board game meetups, where the focus isnât heavy or judgmental but simply enjoying a shared activity 
. Even if it hasnât yet led to close friendships, being around friendly people and low-pressure conversations is already giving you a better balance. Thatâs a big step forward.
Itâs also normal not to click with every game or group, it doesnât mean youâre back to square one, just that youâre refining what works for you. You might explore other âinterest-firstâ groups that are similar in vibe, like language exchanges, hobby classes (art, cooking, photography), sports/recreational clubs, or even volunteering activities where people naturally bond over a shared cause.
The key thing is that youâve discovered that connection feels easier for you when itâs built around shared activities, rather than just sharing struggles. Thatâs a really important insight for building more balanced, less draining friendships 
.
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Hey @user1138. I really admire how honest you are about your experiences, and it takes courage to admit that certain friendships left you burnt out. You gave so much of yourself, and it makes sense that you ended up feeling alone and exhausted.
What I notice, though, is that even while feeling stuck, youâve been resourceful, searching for communities like the board game meetups where people can just hang out without judgment. Not only is it impressive, itâs also inspiring, because it shows that youâre committed to creating connection and that you value it so deeply you kept trying different ways. With what youâve gathered, I see that youâre shaping your own âfriendship blueprint.â Youâve discovered that light, activity-based spaces feel healthier, and youâre learning what drains you. Itâs not just trial and error, itâs wisdom youâre building.
Friendships often take root in small, repeated interactions. Even if board game meetups havenât turned into close bonds yet, youâre planting seeds each time you show up. Some of those seeds may quietly grow into the kind of trust and closeness youâve been longing for.
Iâm really wishing that along the way, youâll continue finding spaces that feel safe, light, and nourishing for you, and that the right people will recognize the heart you bring and meet you with the same care in return 
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Hey @user1138, thank you for sharing such a personal matter, I can tell itâs a lot of weight that youâve been carrying for a long while. Always feeling like the giver and going the extra mile to help your friends, but rarely receiving reciprocation is extremely draining, and feels unfair.
What youâve done for others is really inspiring â spending hours listening to them, scouring the Internet for information they may find useful â youâve done really great and kind things. Youâve done your best to show up as a friend for them, and if they donât reciprocate in a way that you hope a friend would show up for you, thatâs out of your control. So please donât blame yourself for that.
Nevertheless, you shouldnât shortchange yourself; you deserve to find friends who will show up for you in the way you hope they will. Youâve mentioned going for board game meetups and enjoy interacting with other people over games. I think thatâs great and you should continue going for these sessions! It can be a start towards creating strong friendships, you never know.
Building strong friendships will inevitably take time, so take things slow. Meetups, calls or even dropping a text are the small little things that build and sustain friendships. Real friendships would be understanding of all of you, so you donât have to hide your past battles with mental illnesses. A true friend would look past that and see you as a whole.
There are other interest groups you can look into, such as online forums (Reddit) for specific games/hobbies, or apps like Meetup. Volunteering opportunities are also a great way to interact with people that hope to serve the community in the same way as you do. Take things one step at a time, and please hold that determination close to your heart. It may take some time, but if you show up over time, youâll be able to find a friend who will show up for you too. You can do it! 
Hey @user1138 thank you so much for sharing this. It really does take a lot of strength to speak so honestly, especially about something as difficult and personal as feeling isolated and let down by friendships.
It makes total sense that you were drawn to people who also experience mental health challenges. When youâve been judged or misunderstood before, itâs natural to look for people who you feel will get you without needing to explain too much. Wanting that kind of connection doesnât mean you made a mistake, it means you were looking for safety and understanding, which is completely valid.
At the same time, I hear how painful itâs been to feel like these friendships have become one-sided. When people only reach out in crisis but donât include you in their lives otherwise, it can feel incredibly draining and lonely. Itâs especially hard when you see them spending time with others but not with you. Your feelings around this are completely valid. Anyone in your position would feel hurt and confused.
It also makes sense that youâve avoided more âtypicalâ social groups after the experience of being judged when you were open about not working due to recovery. That kind of reaction can leave a lasting mark, and itâs understandable that you would turn away from those spaces and find comfort elsewhere.
The fact that youâve been going to boardgame meetups and finding them helpful is really encouraging. Even if you havenât made close friends there yet, being around friendly people in a low-pressure environment is a big step. Sometimes just showing up consistently is what lays the foundation for more genuine connections to grow. Itâs okay if some games or moments donât fully click, what matters is that the space overall feels better for your mental health.
Itâs also completely fair to keep exploring other interest groups. Whether itâs something creative, social, or low-key like a walking group or art meetup, the goal isnât to find the perfect group but just more spaces where you can feel like yourself.
Youâre doing so much right by reflecting on what you need and trying new things, even after difficult experiences. It takes real courage to keep reaching out and being open to connection. You deserve friendships that are mutual and caring, and itâs okay to keep searching until you find people who meet you there.