Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings here on this platform, I commend you for being so authentic with your feelings of confusion and sadness.
I hear you, and I want to acknowledge the feelings you’re experiencing. It’s completely natural to feel uncertain and confused about the future, especially when you’re a student. The idea of a fixed life path can be overwhelming, but I would like you to remember that life is a unique and individual journey for each person.
Sometimes if we look at the big picture, we think that it’s all “the same” - everyone’s life begins and ends the same way or they go through life in a standardized manner (i.e. school, job, family, etc). Allow me to stretch your perspective a little here: What if we actually zoomed into the smaller details? Would you still say that it is the same sequence? If we take a look at the finer, smaller details, we will realize that nobody ever goes through the same thing and our timelines are all different, with various options and choices.
Let me share an example. Boy A and Boy B are both (1) boys, (2) will likely go through the same pathways in life (3) have the same outcome eventually. But if you zoom into the details, you might realize that it could be vastly different:
Boy A could have gone to army first while Boy B chose to work first. Boy A could focus on his work at a later part of his life and may not even have a partner but chooses to focus on volunteer work, while Boy B could have had multiple relationships and eventually chose to settle down with a partner but at a late age and may not have children. Boy A could have eventually settled down single but happy, but Boy B could be married and unhappy.
This is clearly hypothetical but the idea is that - we will never know how life will turn out for all of us. We may think it’s all the same - but the truth is that we cannot be sure it will be the same for others as ourselves. We just need to focus on our own pathway and make sure we do our best and be a better version of ourselves than we were yesterday!
Next, let’s address the idea of a fixed mindset. It’s great that you’re aware of it, as this awareness is the first step towards change. If you want to focus on having a growth mindset, you will need to embrace growth. Embracing a growth mindset means understanding that your path is not set in stone, and you have the capacity to learn, adapt, and grow throughout your life.
For example, exploring different interests and passions can be a great way to start finding your path. Think about what genuinely excites you, what makes you feel alive, and what activities you lose track of time doing. These can be clues to your true interests and potential career paths. Or you could also take your time to let your passion show - you don’t need to rush into “becoming” anyone. Sometimes people want to rush into finding their passion because they’re anxious about the process, they are too focused on the result (fixed mindset). The process of discovering your passion and your job and your life’s pathway is a long and sometimes slow, sometimes painful, but mostly ‘okay’ journey that we have to fill in with little happy/joyful moments by focusing on the positive and on our growth.
I want to encourage you- that it’s okay not to have all the answers right now. Life is a journey of self-discovery, and it’s perfectly normal to feel uncertain at times. If these thoughts get overwhelming and you find yourself feeling pessimistic or uncertain about the future, it might be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a counselor who can provide guidance and help you explore your options.
Lastly, try not to compare yourself to others or the expectations society might place on you. Everyone’s journey is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to life. Take the time you need to explore and discover your path at your own pace. It’s all part of the beautiful and unpredictable journey of life
Let us know if you have any other thoughts, we’ll be glad to support you here!