I’m literally too lazy to live
Which means: I have goals, dreams and aspirations, I just don’t have the willpower to go for it. And instead of feeling guilt, shame and regret all the time l’d rather just die (suicide isn’t a scary taboo topic for me). It’s like if happiness was a low-hanging fruit and all I needed to do is to raise my hand and take it, but l’m too lazy in my comfort.
Pathetic, I know.
On top of that l’m also a procrastinator, perfectionist, threat-motivated, computer addict and always comparing myself to others and seeing life as a race. The only good thing that l’ve got going for me is that I have a stable job (tho im not even earning the bare minimum but its still money) for three years now.
I don’t think that life is meaningless or that happiness is impossible, I don’t think that nobody likes me, I don’t think that life should be fair or easy. I don’t want to receive any special benefits, nobody owes my anything. I’m just not fit for existence. If I was an animal, l’d been eaten long time ago - survival of the fittest.
Has anyone here felt this way? I’m very sure that I’m not okay but I don’t even know what to do here
Any of you in the same spot as i am? Anyone got out of this? I wanna hear you
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Hi @beckynana thank you for sharing! I’m not sure how to advice you but I’m here to listen 
Perhaps to understand you better, what are your goals, dreams and aspirations?
Also I think that you coming here and posting is your innerself trying to do something to change what you are going through now and that’s a good thing so give yourself where credit is due heh 
No matter what just remember you are not alone in this feel free to share more if you want 
Hi @beckynana !
After reading your post I just feel (similar to @Otterworldly ) you seem to be amidst the soul-searching face of life, where you are trying to understand the ulterior meaning of life. Am I right?
If that’s so you can try to engage in activities that may help you to be more mindful. You can start off by engaging with your emotions. Determine what emotion you are feeling and
why you are feeling that way. I personally have benefitted from doing so, as it has helped me to gain clarity over the situation I was in. It also enabled me to seek the right help from the right resources. TBH, it was what led me to the discovery of this forum!
Hope this might help!
Hi @beckynana
Thank you for taking time to share your current situation. It does sound like you have been thinking about life for some time. I would like to know what you really want in your life, like what makes you happy, what are your goals and dreams? And what is keeping you from working towards them?
I would really like to support you in finding the answers that you are seeking, and I wonder what motivates you in life. Perhaps you can think about what has helped you to achieve the things you have currently, like your job and your connections (family/friends).
Being able to hold a stable job for 3 years take commitment and perhaps fulfilment or passion. It might be helpful to think about what kept you going and not give up even when you feel lazy or not motivated. Take some time to think about your past goals and dreams; and to consider the reasons that helped you achieve them. I think you are strong and resilient in your own ways, possibly the reasons that have helped you survived thus far.
It is normal to think about life; the existence, purpose and what matters to them. I am sure everyone has been through tough periods in life and have reflected on their lives during those periods. Remind yourself of your strengths and do the things that you enjoy doing. Remember not to lose sight of your goals, so that you can find your direction and motivation, and possibly the answers you are looking for.
I hope this has been helpful for you, would like to hear more from you too!