I'm not sure if I'm really autistic or not

Recently my therapist(for PTSD) asked me to see a specialist for autism as she suspects I’m on the spectrum, apparently when I was younger, the doctors already suspected I had autism but never tested, I do remember being diagnosed with specific speech impairment but I’ve already gone to speech therapy and I can speak very well, but my brain is still extremely slow when it comes to learning, sometimes even for reading, I take way longer to process everything and sometimes it annoys everyone around me, I repeat stuff which also tends to annoy others, when I’m excited, I tend to either be a bit like jumpyish with my legs or flap my hands. I don’t like loud noises and can get overwhelmed if there’s too many things to process at once, like if multiple people talking or a lot of noise, or both, sometimes I just run away but I’m trying to learn to cope and calm myself down, its hard for me to just ignore and focus on one thing, it works for a while then im just overwhelmed again. I also hate it when people raise their voices or when I raise my own, it leads into arguements. I’d get distracted by the smallest things, sometimes zone out unintentionally, say the most random things on my mind and sometimes even offend others with what i said. I’m scared to make friends, I’d prefer for them to approach me but not much luck. I’m scared of saying the wrong things, I also change topics very easily and quickly, i don’t like talking much about myself and if I’m uncomfortable, I’d change topics immediately. I’m currently waiting for the referral to go through so I can get my appt date. As of rn, I think it’s gonna be hard for me to be diagnosed since some symptoms might be mixed with others, I also forgot to mention but I am non binary but I’m female at birth, I hate my body because it’s ugly too.

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Hi there @user961 :wave:

First off, thanks so much for sharing about what you’re going through at this moment and letting us get to know you better. I wanna let you know that whatever you’re thinking and feeling about your whole situation is valid. I think that it’s great you’re seeing someone to work on yourself (you mentioned that it’s for PTSD, I hope that sessions with your therapist is helping you out). I also want to take a step back to let you know that you did (say: removing yourself from a situation where it was too loud/overwhelming for you) what you had to do at that point to feel safe and alright. If I were to see things from your lens, I would do whatever it is just to get out of the really upsetting situation :people_hugging: – I guess that’s how you were trying to make sense of what’s going on around you and probably inside of you… But I can also sense that you want to work on it as some of those behaviours (trying to escape, not engaging with people) seem to be holding you back and you want to cope better.

You’re looking to cope better in things and it got me wondering about future transitions that awaits you. There’s this info on stages that could be helpful. It might not be an exact guide but can serve as a resource to understand what you’re going through especially with growing up, how you feel about yourself, who you identify as, etc.

As for getting a diagnosis for Autism Spectrum Disorder, I’m sure you have some thoughts so I wonder how you feel about it? Have you had the chance to speak to someone about it…like just to share your thoughts? I find that speaking to someone I feel comfortable with makes it feel like I’m not on this on my own cause it’s a pretty big deal to maybe get a diagnosis that tries to explain why I might be the way I am. If that’s hard to do, maybe can consider writing down your thoughts and feelings, just to get a sense of (different) perspective when you see it on paper VS being in your head.

I’m sure you’re also curious about the autism assessment, here’s what it might look like. It might not be 100% same but it should give you an idea about the process and what might happen in the assessment – the professional will likely be able to make sense of the symptoms based on what you’re gonna share.

In the meantime, to help you cope, you can consider doing some of these self-care activities (if you haven’t already):
• Regular exercise
• Get healthy and regular meals
• Get hydrated
• Prioritise restful sleep
• Engage in a relaxing activity
• Set goals/priorities
• Practice gratitude
• Focus on positivity
• Stay connected
• You can add on things to this list!
• You can add on things to this list!

I just wanna say that whatever you’re doing is a positive way to understand yourself better and that you deserve all the support you need. We’re here to journey along with you and hope to hear more from you! :smiley:

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