I don’t know if this is normal

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

It’s probably not but I also don’t know if it’s normal too.

I wake up everyday glad to be alive.

I fall asleep fearing it’s my last.

I had difficulty breathing at times on the bus and I feel overwhelming pressure when in crowded places.

I feel it’s my fault my kids are not as smart and it’s because of my genes as what others say.

I feel everyone things I’m not doing enough despite having a 9-5 job and helping with the kids.

I get tired easily because I put my kids to bed at 9am and wake up at 1 and can’t sleep till 4-5am.

I feel I can’t tell anyone how I am feeling cause I’m like a burden.

I know it’s part of being an adult to have this matters.

But I don’t know what to think anymore.
There are times I felt it’s better if I just pass and hopefully my insurance would cover my family.

This is probably the stress and I have no idea if what I’m going through is normal.

Probably a mid life crisis. I honestly just want to fix it.

I’m vomiting everything out right now and hoping to figure out what is going on.

I blame myself for my kids with her slow learning. I’m trying my best to get her to improve socially and learn faster.

I seek help for her and after their assessment of her, and all the questions they asked about her. I felt it was my fault. I should have done better and I feel I shouldn’t have kids. My genes are terrible . My family background let me realize it’s possible we have issues with learning issues and autism.

I honestly am just putting it out here. Hopefully someone can share with me if what I’m dealing is just stress related and if yes .. anyway I can get a grip of myself. Because the constant spinning and difficulty breathing is very scary and I don’t want to experience it so frequent on a near daily basis. It’s been going on for 3 days straight.

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Dear @user6584

Thank you for bravely sharing this. I feel and hear you.

May I first assure you that I just want to it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s okay to let it out — you’re not alone in this. From everything you’ve shared, I can see how much you care for your children, how hard you’re trying, and how deeply you want the best for your family. That already says so much about the kind of parent — and person — you are.

Please hear this gently: you are not to blame for your child’s learning pace or diagnosis. Autism and learning differences are not anyone’s fault — they’re simply part of how someone experiences the world. Having an autistic child doesn’t mean something went “wrong” — and it certainly doesn’t mean you failed. If anything, it means your child may just need support in a different way — and you’re already showing up to give them that.

You’ve been waking up to work, caring for your kids, helping with bedtime, staying up into the early morning hours — and yet you doubt you’re doing enough. You are. You’re doing so much, and it’s okay to feel tired. That exhaustion doesn’t mean weakness — it means you’ve been giving a lot without enough time or space to rest.

I also want to gently say: what you’re describing — the spinning thoughts, difficulty breathing, fear of dying — these sound like signs of deep stress or anxiety. These experiences are not uncommon under chronic stress, but they are also a sign that you deserve care too. You can’t pour from a cup that’s already empty.

Please don’t carry this alone. You are not a burden. You’re a human who’s hurting, trying to hold everything together. And that’s exactly why it’s okay to reach out. Do consider speaking to a counsellor or a doctor — they can walk this journey with you.

I hope this helps when I share that your child’s future is not defined by a diagnosis. There is hope. There is growth. There is possibility. And they are so lucky to have a parent who cares this much. But your wellbeing matters too. Please take care of yourself — not just for them, but for you, because you deserve to feel safe, supported, and steady.

You’re not failing. You’re showing up — even through exhaustion and fear. That’s something to be proud of. May I encourage you to take one breath at a time — you are not expected to fix it all alone and all at once. Reach out here anytime you need support, too. May I gently ask, what would you do today to care for yourself, dear? :yellow_heart: