my father has anger issues, he thinks he’s always right. whenever he’s in a bad mood, it becomes everybody’s problem. my school holidays haven’t even started yet, and my exams ended only 6 days ago. i did okay, i could’ve done better, yes. but i did okay. and he’s forcing me to start studying already, not even just “revise a little bit more” or a “catch up on the topics u were bad at”, it’s just straight up “youre not studying enough. youre not doing enough. if u had done better then i would let u rest.”
and he acknowledges that i tried. he acknowledged how hard i tried and how much i studied and the hours and the effort i put into my studies. but i’m never enough or i’m never worthy of rest until i get those straight As. it’s like it’s the only thing that matters. a whole year, almost a whole year, of studying and exams and staying up late to revise and waking up earlier to revise, all that and i’m not worthy of even a full week of rest. maybe my problems aren’t as bad as everyone else’s, but it is so emotionally draining to continuously have to live up to this man’s sky high expectations. recently, i was taking a break from studying and i went on my phone for a bit, i studied for an hour and i was going to take a 10 minute break. he screamed at me and then took my phone away, and of course which lead to an argument. i wasn’t even arguing with him honestly, i was simply trying to tell him that i do balance out my study time and my rest time, i was telling him that i HAVE BEEN studying and that i keep track of my time and my breaks. but “TO HIM” it seemed like it wasn’t balanced or it wasn’t enough. to sum it all up, i never feel good enough. not even just studies wise, when i was 8 or maybe 9? i was told that my legs are too fat, but when my older sister tried to tell my father not to do that, because i would end up insecure abt them, she got screamed at because he thinks i’m “too secure”, and mind you, i was like 9. me and my sister both deal with his issues. i never understood why my mother married him.
there’s a lot more that i want to rant about, but i should be studying. again.
Hey @15021402 ,
Thank you for taking your break time to share your thoughts! I can totally relate with the endless studying and the feeling of my efforts not being acknowledged by others. I think that you should give yourself a huge hug for surviving the hectic school year and for persevering on despite the challenges!
I sometimes get very affected by what others think or expect of me but I’ve learnt that their expectations are endless and honestly, they probably can’t even live up to their own expectations 
So here’s an encouragement to be your own cheerleader and best friend, to give yourself the well deserved affirmation and love!
NO, its not ok. really sorry u have to take this ■■■■ abuse- Im an adult now but my old man is exactly the same! Google for Bpd, emo immature parents. there are resources how to cope
hey, ive been in a kinda similar situation and i get how stressful it can be 
i know it feels like other people have it worse but it’s really not fair to you to be in this situation either… there’s no easy solution but i hope you remember that you are important and valuable regardless of your grades no matter how the people around you make you feel we are all here for you and hear to listen! i hope the situation improves with time… take care 
@octopus Hi are u replying to OP or me? 
hi, i was replying to op :") but i understand you’ve been in the same boat too so i think it applies to us all haha
Yea still in same boat at the moment. Is festive period but dirtbag got himself into some financial ■■■■ and affecting our moods
aw im so sorry to hear that what’s been going on?
oh man that sounds really exhausting 
it must have been so difficult dealing with your father’s unrealistic expectations, and also really unfair too! I wanna reassure you that you are doing soooo well already, as a student i know how stressful and difficult it is to study and get good grades, but i can tell that you are already doing your best and i hope you are proud of yourself for that! regardless of what your father says, theres more to life than grades, so i hope that you are able to find time to rest and do the things you love. take care
@octopus are u ref to me? The dirtbag has alw been Bpd and ocd at home, not poor but extremely stingy. I dw to hear but like some stock market or investm stuck. My mum homemaker, its expected he oughto give her $ for veges etc coz he wants to eat at home. Ive had ex colleags married men, they didn demand wives cook. Settled themselves.
He keeps saying his house but never do cleaning, nor help cook. Only talk big
Of cos we all diff naturally wil talk back, im adult but he’d belittle our opinions using rude hokkien phrase.■■■■
Oh OP is student? Sigh i miss the 90s
that sounds quite stressful and frustrating it must be tiring dealing with this for a long time… if you want to talk more about what’s been going on im happy to listen
what do you miss about the 90s?
@octopus Ooh u mean by PM? Thanks for concern. Umm when i feel up to it… These days i get busy w other stuff and work, managed not to care abt it
90s, i miss the simplicity- hercules xena shows 
did u watch? Charmed, now the new series just aren the same. And i was in pri, much less worries than now
Hi @15021402 , I know how it feels to be studying all the time, even after exam period.
It’s definitely okay to want to rest at this period of time. You deserve a break. Here’s the thing, even if u were to study now, you may not be as efficient. The same thing happened to me when I finished my poly FYP this year February. ever since I went on a family vacation around April this year, I have been struggling from worsened sleep hygiene. You won’t believe me, but I slept on my way in every car journey during my vacation that lasted for a month 
, due to poor sleep hygiene the day during my vacation. Guess what, I am still unable to get over it, 
. For my case, the lack of sleep, made me weaker and less able to endure hectic schedules within a day, so much so, that I am forced to study from home after Uni. Even if I want to go back to my school or the library just to study, I can’t because my body has been over worked.
Don’t be pressured to study beyond school especially during vacation. Even if you are going to sit for any major exam, your brain will get saturated after a year’s worth of study. You can flip through your notes every now and then, but don’t need to stress yourself too much.
The unfortunate thing is that we are in Asia, but that does not me you need to be amongst a sea of books all the time. Hope this helps!