I have two examples of this happening and my siblings just keep telling me to shut my mouth so that the other party doesn’t continue rambling about it.
Example 1:
I’ve recently taken the flu vaccine for some travels happening soon. After a few days most of my symptoms(body ache, sore throat and runny nose) were mostly gone and weren’t that bad. But after going to school 3 days ago my symptoms got worse, and today I can barely talk without my throat hurting. My father keeps on telling me that my symptoms are from the vaccine but I know my body better than that. The sore throat wasn’t as bad and I was healing before it got worse today. I just want to tell him to shut up cause he’s been doing this type of thing to me all my life and I’m so tired of being downplayed like that. Am I wrong to feel this way?
Example2:
I have gotten into a fight with best friend. And a mutual friend who has been ‘neutral’ was my main support system through it. However, everytime I’ve brought it up she keeps on telling me she’s been through the same thing with that same friend and kind of implying that I’m overreacting. She doesn’t want to tell me what even happen when she fell out with that friend before getting close again so I don’t even know what she went through. But it just pisses me off that she tells me ‘she went through the exact same thing’ when she sides with that friend though she’s ‘neutral’ and doesn’t even give me decent feedback and help with my reflections and rather just brushes my feelings aside with ‘Bad things happen and bad happens’ when I’m being vulnerable to the only person who will actually try to hear me out.
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Hi @goofy.com !
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us here, I appreciate your vulnerability.
I just want to say - It’s absolutely normal to feel frustrated and upset when someone dismisses your feelings or imposes their own conclusions without taking the time to understand your perspective. In both of your examples, it seems like you’re experiencing a lack of validation and empathy, and it’s entirely valid for you to feel the way you do.
In the first example, your father’s insistence that your symptoms are solely from the vaccine, despite your own awareness of your body, can be disheartening. I would feel the same way too if I were you. It’s okay to express your feelings and let him know that you appreciate his concern, but you also want your experiences and observations to be acknowledged.
In the second example, your frustration with your friend’s response is also understandable. Feeling heard and understood is so important, especially when going through a challenging situation with a friend. It might be helpful to communicate directly with your friend, expressing your need for support and understanding, and sharing your feelings about how her responses have made you feel.
In general, healthy communication involves active listening and mutual understanding. It’s okay to assert yourself and communicate your needs in these situations You deserve to have your feelings acknowledged and respected! If these patterns persist, consider seeking support from others who are more willing to listen and empathize with your experiences.
Let us know how else we can support you in any way! Take care and hear from you soon!
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