for context the past 2 days ive woken up rly late ard lunchtime and then ill spend a while on lunch when i shd be studying for As cos i have 3 more papers and two of them are at the end of this week
my dad likes to say stuff like “you wasted your whole morning away already” and “still wanna spend time sitting here (using phone)” and “it’s a pity you’re wasting all this time when you cld be studying… your results will be a result of what you’re doing now” or smt like that it’s a little paraphrased cos i can’t rmb the exact words he used for the last sentence
i used to tell myself that i shd study hard to prove my parents (esp my dad) wrong and tbh it never really worked on me cos i js wasn’t able to sit down and actually study (will sit down study for all of 10-20min and then get distracted) but now i almost can’t be bothered like im barely trying idk what life is anymore
Hey @manda1 It sounds like you’re feeling completely drained, and it’s no wonder with the weight of As and your dad’s comments adding to the pressure. Waking up late or struggling to focus doesn’t mean you’re failing—it just means you’re exhausted, both mentally and emotionally, and sometimes others just don’t understand that! The expectation to study perfectly, stay motivated, and deal with criticism all at once is a lot for anyone to handle…
It’s okay to feel like you just want it all to be over. Sometimes the pressure to prove people wrong or meet expectations can make it even harder to focus. Instead of forcing yourself to power through, try breaking it into smaller, manageable steps. Even studying for 10–20 minutes at a time is still progress, and actually that is the famous Pomodoro method, and maybe that is what works for you best! I’m attaching the method here for reference：
Choose a task: Pick a task that requires your full attention.
Set a timer: Set a timer for 25 minutes.
Work: Focus on your task until the timer goes off.
Take a break: Take a short break, around five minutes.
Repeat: Repeat the process 3-4 times.
Take a longer break: After completing four “pomodoros” in succession, take a 30-minute break.
Celebrate those little wins, and don’t beat yourself up for not being “perfect” at it.
Your dad’s comments probably come from a place of concern, but I know how much it stings to hear them when you’re already doing your best to keep going. Remember, your worth isn’t defined by your results. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. You’ve got this, and it’s okay to feel tired along the way. And as I always hold on a quote: “Everything will pass eventually”. Hang in there, soon your As will be over!
Firstly, well done on making it nearly to the end of the ‘A’ level exams! That itself takes huge courage. Please know your feelings of being overwhelmed by exam pressure is fully understandable and relatable for many among us. I also sense you feel guilt and frustration from procrastination, are demotivated by dad’s blunt remarks and experiencing overall disconnection from life. You are not alone, and you can overcome this one step at a time.
Take a deep breath!
Emergency Self-Care
Allow yourself a 10-minute break.
Move your body (stretch, walk, jump).
Hydrate and snack healthy.
Practice gentle self-talk.
Reframe Negative Thoughts
“I’m doing my best, given the circumstances.”
“I can focus for short periods; it’s a start.”
“My worth isn’t defined by grades or parental approval.”
Strategies for Studying
Break study sessions into 25-minute increments (Pomodoro technique).
Create a schedule with realistic goals.
Eliminate distractions. Put the phone in another room when you study.
Reward yourself after focused study sessions.
Communicating with Your Dad
Explain your feelings: "Dad, I know you mean well, thank you for that. This is a stressful time for me, so your kindness, understanding and encouragement are what will help me the most.
Seek support: “Can we discuss ways to help me stay focused?”
Please know you are not alone. Exams are temporary and choosing to treat yourself with self-compassion would be more helpful than other behaviours such as criticising yourself. Please start by taking it one step at a time. Focus on the present moment. Be aware of the mind’s thoughts and bring them back to the present if you find your mind wandering off. You have already come so far. A few more days to go-choose to make them count. 10-15 mins of focused study as a start, slowly build up to 25 mins at a stretch. Rest 5 mins. Repeat. You can do this!!Keep going!
It’s okay, sometimes we are just tired or sleep deprived. Also, over time it can be really tiring and I understand because I’m a student too. Not sure if this makes you feel better but… sometimes I wake up at 4pm and my mum nags at me as well. I guess… they don’t know BTS where we study really hard and is tired… Focus on yourself . As ending already!! All the best!!
@manda1 I can really feel the pressure you’re under, and it’s tough when it feels like you’re constantly being told you’re not doing enough, especially by someone close to you. But try not to take it too personally—your dad’s comments is likely coming from a good place to try to motivate you but those kinds of comments probably worked for him, not necessarily for you. He may not know other ways to encourage you, to be honest.
I know it’s easy to feel like you have to prove something to your parents, but the most important thing is doing this for yourself. Trying to live up to their expectations can place an enormous burden on you, and it might not even be the best way to reach your potential. Challenge yourself to be a better version of who you were yesterday, rather than trying to meet an external standard. Small progress is still progress, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time.
Recognise the pressure, but don’t let it determine your worth. You’re already doing your best, and that’s more than enough. Hang in there—you’re so close, and you’ve got this!!
Keep going!
. As ending already!! All the best!!