i don’t often approach my parents for this, so here i am…i’ve just started secondary school (well not really, just started this yr, i feel so young here…but i want to know) and i just realised how tiring it is. i have cca, schoolwork, tuition, and swimming training. i train in competitive swimming so we have to train a lot, i also have third language classes on tuesdays. I could still stand it at first, then i started having burnouts, i would give up on my homework, not want to do anything but doomscroll or read, then cry in the late of night because i was so tired and busy i wouldn’t even have a lot time to rest. for visualisation, i have to wake up at 6 for school at 740, then i end school at 2, at 3 i have cca until 430, then i have some time to rest, eat and change into my swimwear, then i go for swimming training until 745, once i go home, eat and shower i would be around 915 already, then i have to do homework. i sometimes would squeeze in the smaller assignments in my lunch period and my rest time, and sometimes it just gets too much and the burnouts come. i find myself relying a lot on music and plush toys for some reason but they really make me feel like i’m not alone. i told my friends and parents before and they understand, i just want some advice on what to do now. its exam season so no more cca for now, but i have to cram homework and assignments for revision, and the only time i get to rest is when i go to school/come back home and the small breaks within study periods, it’s not as bad now but i dread next year and everything will happen again. i also have some friendship issues, some people talk bad about me, i can’t be bothered but i really don’t like how it makes me feel. what now?
Hi @justagirl thank you for sharing how you feel. It does sound so tiring, even for an adult like me! I’m really sorry that you feel burnt out and exhausted. I’m also glad that you have friends and parents understand on how you feel, but I hear that you still need a bit more support.
I’m wondering if this analogy might be helpful. You can think of us as batteries. Batteries come in different sizes, so the amount of things each of us can do before needing a charger might be different – and that’s okay! There are so many types of items that need batteries, and all have their own strengths 
But if we run out of battery, and keep going anyway, that doesn’t usually work. Sometimes I do this thing for my computer mouse and kinda give it a knock when it’s running out of battery to see if it’ll work. Sometimes it does, but that probably doesn’t feel good doesn’t it?
Plus, sometimes things drain our batteries really fast – like when we have a lot of activities, or if other people don’t make us feel good.
Even though it feels like we need to keep going and going, we all need to recharge our batteries from time to time. And the process of charging a battery usually takes some time before we’re ready to go again.
So what now? It might be figuring out how to slow down what’s draining out batteries. Are there things you’re able to lessen in your schedule? It might also be making sure you have enough time to recharge (which is as important as our activities that use up battery life! Can you think of some ways that makes you feel good to help you recharge your battery? It might be like your music and soft toys (which are great! I rely on those too, even as an adult ^.^) but it sounds like you might need a bit more than that to keep going.
Really proud of you for reaching out, and you’re not alone <3
Hey @justagirl,
You began with, “i don’t often approach my parents for this, so here i am…” that already tells me it’s hard for you to bring up, and maybe you’re not used to getting much comfort back when you do.
Reading how your days stack up, school, cca, swim, tuition, third language, it felt like watching time run out before you even catch your breath. No wonder the burnouts come.
I notice how you lean on music and plush toys. They don’t answer back, but they help you not feel alone. Maybe that’s your way of filling a gap, especially when even though your parents and friends “understand,” it doesn’t always feel like they see how hard this is for you inside.
I want you to know, reading what you wrote, I can feel your struggle and that fear that the cycle will just repeat, makes next year look dreadful. I wonder, if you imagine that dread as a signal, what does it tell you? Is it more about fear of not coping, or about wishing for more rest, more warmth, more space to be yourself?
You also shared how people talk bad about you. you said you “can’t be bothered,” but then admitted you don’t like the feeling. It makes sense on the outside, you brush it off, but inside it still stings, and maybe adds to the loneliness of running on empty.
So when you ask, “what now?”… maybe the first step is to ask yourself: what do you want to feel, day to day? lighter? less tired? more cared for? once that becomes clearer, you can notice which small things, a real check-in from a parent, a rest break that’s not filled with homework, a friend you feel safe with, help reduce the unhappy feeling, even a little.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak, it just shows the load has been too heavy without enough refill. Maybe for now, we just hold onto this: you deserve spaces that give back to you, spaces where you can decide what you need, or simply rest and be restored
thank you for this, i’ll definitely think about it