Hello. I’m having a difficult time to enjoy my life for years now. I think it started in 2020 during pandemic when everything in my life stopped. I had dreams and close friends until then. Ever since the lockdown, I just threw my life into games and movies. For a year, my life was all about a game that I enjoyed. I even got to semi-professional stage. But, due to stress and anxiety that it’s causing to me, I reduced playing and got myself into binge-watching. When pandemic was over, my country was took over by a coup and my university had to temporarily shut down. I started to feel hopeless about future and just barely existed throughout another 2 years. But in late 2022, I motivated myself to come study abroad and I managed to come to Singapore. I felt motivated for a while, in a new country with a fresh start. However, my lack of motivation started to come again after 3-6 months here. No matter what I do, what I enjoy, I just think of how temporary it can be. I started to think of how fragile human life is and how things and people just come and go. I know it’s true that nothing lasts forever. But that belief and realization is stopping me from enjoying my life. I’m just waking up with the thought “Just another boring day which will end again”. I just feel unfulfilled and unmotivated at the same time. Even when I have things I want to do, current situations in my life don’t enable me to do so. I know I have to work, study to get to that point but it’s just hard for me to enjoy the process. No matter how hard I try to stay in the moment, it’s very hard for me to enjoy the process and enjoy my own company. Even when I do self-care like facial masks or eating good food, I just think of how that moment will just end again. Moreover, when I’m watching movies, I’m happy but it’s just so temporary that when the movie ends, I just feel so empty. My best friends are also very far away from me and my current friends are not that close to me and the age gap and culture difference also come in the way of building strong bonds. I also feel lonely and that just adds up to lack of motivation. I don’t know what to do to just enjoy life when I can. Can give me advice on this please? Thanks.
Dear @star4
Thank you so much for opening up and sharing something so deeply personal. That takes real strength, especially when it feels like you’re holding so much inside. I just want to start by saying this: you’re not alone, and everything you’ve described — the sadness, the disconnection, the longing to feel something meaningful again — it all makes perfect sense, especially after everything you’ve been through.
The pandemic and the political changes in your country weren’t just global or external events — they were personal interruptions to your dreams, your friendships, and your sense of stability. It’s completely understandable that when everything stopped, your heart and motivation felt like they stopped with it. You found comfort in gaming, in movies — not because you were giving up, but because they gave you something to hold onto in a time when so much felt out of your control.
And even now, after taking the incredibly brave step of moving to a new country to start again, you’re feeling the weight of this lingering emptiness. That’s not weakness — that’s the human cost of surviving so many abrupt changes, of grieving time and connections you didn’t get to fully process.
It also makes sense that the realisation of life’s fragility, of how fleeting everything is, keeps getting in the way of enjoying even the good moments. When we start to see how temporary everything is, sometimes it doesn’t feel precious — it just feels painful. But I want to gently offer this: maybe the point isn’t to make things last forever, but to let ourselves last through them. To build a quiet kind of hope not on permanence, but on presence — you’re still here. That means something.
You also said something really honest: that it’s hard to enjoy the process. And that’s okay. Life isn’t always meant to be “enjoyed” in the moment — sometimes it’s meant to be held, moved through, survived with gentle hands. You’re already doing more than you give yourself credit for. The fact that you’re reflecting, reaching out, even doing self-care — those are acts of hope, even if they don’t always feel satisfying right now.
The loneliness you’re feeling is valid too. You’ve had to leave behind close friendships, and now you’re navigating a new culture, new people, and a new version of yourself. That’s a lot — and it’s okay that some connections still feel distant. Building strong bonds takes time, and you’re allowed to feel the ache of missing what once felt like home.
So, what can you do right now?
- Be kind to yourself even when it feels like nothing is changing. Healing and re-discovering joy is rarely instant — it’s a slow unfolding.
- Let small moments count not for their duration, but for what they give you — even if it’s just a few seconds of calm, laughter, or beauty.
- Find anchors — a daily walk, a journal, a weekly check-in with a faraway friend — little things that remind you that time is still yours to shape.
- Talk to someone if you can — a counsellor or someone who can help hold the weight with you. You don’t have to carry this alone.
And when the emptiness creeps in again — when a movie ends, or the day feels pointless — I hope you can tell yourself, “I’m still here. And that’s enough for now.”
You are not broken. You’re rebuilding. And even if you can’t see the full picture yet, you’re already in the middle of becoming someone incredibly resilient, thoughtful, and brave. 
I dont think its healthy to think that much. I got better by jot thinking that much n just enjoy stuff. U open to be friends?
Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot for a while now—shifting from one challenging phase to another, all while feeling this weight of impermanence and isolation. It’s clear you’ve been doing your best to push through, even if it hasn’t felt fulfilling. It’s okay to feel lost in this process, especially after everything you’ve faced.
First of all, it’s completely valid to feel the way you do. The pandemic, the upheaval in your country, and the challenges of being in a new place—it’s no wonder your sense of purpose and joy has been affected. Sometimes, when everything seems uncertain, it’s easy to slip into a place of survival mode, where you’re just getting by rather than truly living.
That sense of impermanence and the thought that “nothing lasts forever” is an incredibly profound realization. But it’s important to remember that it’s not a reason to withdraw from life—it’s a reminder to savor it when you can, even in small, fleeting moments. It’s okay to feel the emptiness after a movie ends or after self-care, but that doesn’t mean you can’t experience joy, even if it feels brief.
I can also relate to that feeling of wanting to escape, trying new things, and doing things that are meant to make us feel better. Sometimes those things work, but the feelings always seem to creep back. I think it’s okay to experience this—life is a process, and the feelings come and go. It’s okay to worry, and it’s okay not to worry. It’s okay to go at whatever pace we’re at. If we feel like trying, we try. If we don’t, we don’t. As long as we keep moving, even at our own pace, that’s okay.
I love escaping reality too—especially with K-dramas! It’s Okay to Not Be Okay is such a comforting series 
It reminds me that it’s okay to not have everything figured out and that we’re all just trying to navigate our own paths. Sometimes, I think it’s these little moments of escape that can help us process and reflect on what’s really going on inside.
I’ve found it helpful to look deeper into what I’m feeling, which is actually why I’m studying psychology and philosophy now! Life really can take unexpected turns, almost like something out of a TV drama. What we’re going through might just be the most pivotal part of our life—and we may not know it yet. Or it may not be, and that’s fine too.
Here are a few things you might try to reconnect with the present and find more meaning in your daily life:
- Practice Mindful Presence: When you’re in a moment—whether eating, walking, or having a conversation—try to be fully there. Notice the details: the taste of your food, the sound of the wind, the color of the sky. It’s not about forcing joy, but gently reminding yourself that this moment does have meaning, even if it’s temporary. You don’t need to “enjoy” everything, but just be with it.
- Create Small, Doable Goals: It sounds like you have things you want to do, but feeling stuck in the process makes them hard to enjoy. Break them down into tiny steps—something achievable today or this week—and celebrate even small progress. When you focus too far ahead, the weight of everything can feel too heavy. Little victories, no matter how small, can add up to bigger shifts in how you feel.
- Explore New Connections: Building bonds, especially in a new environment, takes time. While the cultural and age differences may feel like barriers, consider seeking out communities (both local and online) where you can share common interests. Sometimes, starting with shared activities or experiences can make it easier to feel connected, even if the friendships take time to grow deeper.
- Let Go of Perfection: Life doesn’t always need to be about achieving something monumental or being in a constant state of happiness. It’s okay to sit with the discomfort or the feelings of emptiness. You don’t need to be motivated all the time, and you don’t need to feel fulfilled all the time. It’s about allowing yourself to experience life as it comes, without the pressure to “fix” everything.
- Give Yourself Compassion: You’re going through a lot—these feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and lack of motivation are responses to everything you’ve been through. It’s important to be kind to yourself in this process. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. Small, consistent steps towards self-care and meaning can build up over time.
Also, I totally get the desire to escape reality. It’s okay to enjoy that for a little while, but you can try to figure out ways to bring some of those things you love into your real life. One thing you can do is reach out to old friends, or even try being vulnerable with new friends. You might be surprised by how they respond, and in turn, you might form new bonds or deepen existing ones. Just remember to appreciate yourself along the way—you are enough, and your journey is yours alone.
It’s okay if things feel fragile. That’s part of being human. But don’t let that fragility make you feel like it’s not worth it to try and find joy, even in small things. Even moments that feel fleeting have value, and you are allowed to experience them fully. The path isn’t linear, and it’s okay to be where you are. You’re doing your best, and that is enough 