Liking my married colleague

Hangouts 9 to 5
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So tldr, I currently like my colleague, who is already married and has a teenager child now. By like, I mean I really really genuinely like him. And I have tried means and ways to get over him, but I really can’t seem to succeed in it because I literally see him 5 days per week in office and whenever I am feeling not okay at work, he is able to feel it and will be there for me in person and via texts. Like he told me just be open and talk about it to him if anything. He gave me the reassurance I needed when I was overthinking about so many things that I broke down and cried. He is always there for me even though in workplace he doesn’t seem to want other colleagues to know we are in fact pretty close. So at this rate, I can’t seem to get over him when he keeps showering me with care and concern that I really need. And he does all this because he legit treats me like his lil sister, because I call him big brother… so idk, please help because I really want to find a partner but I can’t get over him :frowning:

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Hi @squirreltree

Thank you for being so authentic and sharing with us your struggles, I hear you, and it sounds like you’re in a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It’s understandable that these feelings are difficult to overcome, especially when you have a close and supportive relationship with your colleague.

I think it might be helpful to respect his boundaries, considering he is married and views you as a sister figure. To help you in this situation, here are some suggestions you can try:

  1. Acknowledge the limits: It is actually very common for people to develop close bonds with colleagues, but there must be an understanding of the limits of the relationship both ways.

  2. Establish Boundaries: While it’s wonderful that your colleague is supportive, it’s important to establish boundaries to protect both of your emotional well-being. It might be helpful to discuss the boundaries openly and honestly with him.

  3. Seek Support from Others: It might be helpful to confide in friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings as having a support system outside of work can provide different perspectives and emotional support. You could speak to someone from the nearest Family Service Centre, or look for a relationship therapist that you may feel comfortable with.

  4. Explore New Interests: Engage in activities or hobbies that can help shift your focus and provide a healthy distraction. This can also open up opportunities to meet new people.

Remember, finding a partner is a process that takes time :slight_smile: So be compassionate to yourself and don’t rush the process. Also, building connections with others outside of this specific relationship may also help you broaden your social circle and meet potential partners too :slight_smile:

Let us know what your thoughts are and if you have any other questions, we’ll be here to support you.

Hear from you soon!

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Hey @squirreltree

Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing with us your feelings. :pray:t2:

I understand how tough that must have felt especially when falling in love with a close colleague whom we work with on a frequent basis.

Similarly, I resonate with @cottonsoul advice on building connections with others outside of work as you may meet future partners whose potential are undiscovered due to the current circle we have.

Feel free to share with us your thoughts and meanwhile wishing you all the best in the coming year!

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