i just lost a bunch of friends in school. i fell out of two massive friend groups and suddenly got a bad reputation because my best friend betrayed me. i dread school every day and am super anxious about everything. SUPER anxious. i think my anxiety is driving me insane, it’s the constant fear of rejection, fear of losing more people, fear of having no support. my grandma and uncle also just died. please help, please i feel so alone and scared. i don’t remember how it feels like to be happy like i was last year, i don’t remember the joy of having a large group of friends around me. my social life is deep down the mariana trench, i have no motivation, and my anxiety keeps making me fidget and i may possibly hurt myself. i really need to make more friends and deal with my anxiety but how
Hi @isabelle09
Thanks for coming on this platform and to share about what you are currently going through. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother’s and uncle’s passing. In addition to that, it must have been difficult for you to go through the loss of your friendships and having to deal with betrayal from a best friend can be really painful as well. It sounds really hard for you to handle all these losses that came together. I wonder how you have been coping with it since and is there someone you can talk to about it as well.
For now, let’s try to take a step at a time to address your feelings. Perhaps, we can look at how we can work around the grief process of losing your family first.
- Take care of yourself. I understand it is hard because of the overwhelming and intense feelings but know that grieving can take a toll on your mental and physical state. So, it is most important that you pay attention to your needs at this point. Eat and rest well, try to find activities to engage yourself with.
- Talk to people. It can be a trusted family member or a friend outside of school. You may also consider talking to a professional such as a school counsellor or reaching out to community support services. Talking helps to process your feelings and you might find a sense of relief within as well.
- Acknowledge and validate your feelings. Whether it is sadness, anger, or confusion. Allow yourself to feel and process these emotions. It is normal to feel such emotions when you are going through tough times like this.
- Find meaning and purpose in your life. Take time to reflect on what gives your life purpose, what values and beliefs that you identify with. Set goals that align with your values to give yourself a direction. Cultivate relationships with positive connections, people who make you feel good about yourself.
I can see that all these experiences might have impacted you and possibly made you developed a sense of fear towards building relationships, friendships as you do not want to be hurt again. It is not easy, and I hope you be patient with yourself during this process.
I am also concerned about what you said about possibly hurting yourself and I want to make sure that you are okay. It takes a lot of courage to deal with what you have been through and I hope your prioritise your body and wellbeing as you journey through this. Always remember to be kind and compassionate toward yourself.
I hope you are able to cope with ways that are helpful and not hurtful to yourself. Here are some suggestions for you to consider trying:
- Deep breathing exercises – Find a comfortable space and position yourself comfortably. Take a deep breath in while counting to 5 and breathe out counting to 5 as well. While you are breathing out, imagine that the air leaves with your stress and tension. Stay focused on your breathing and cast aside other thoughts. Repeat until you feel better.
- Grounding exercises – A five-step exercise (5-4-3-2-1) can help to ground you in the present when you are feeling anxious.
You would need to engage your 5 senses (like 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can hear, 1 thing you can taste). - Physical activity – It can be to walk around, jump a little, anything to release any pent-up energy within yourself.
- Mindfulness meditation - Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. It can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. You can start by trying simple mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing or guided meditation (easily available on YouTube), to help calm your mind and reduce anxiety. Check out Balance Yourself
- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be helpful to process and release emotions. You don’t have to share this with anyone; it’s for your own self-reflection. You can also try to declutter your mind through this simple activity: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
Remember that you don’t have to face this alone, and I really hope you get the support you need through this challenging time. You may also consider making an appointment with your school counsellor or consult with an external professional to talk it out.
Here are other community options you can consider:
Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) - 1800-283 7019
IMH CHAT: (webCHAT - CHAT)
Care Corner Counselling Centre - 1800-353 5800
I hope this has been helpful. All the best and take care!
Heyyy just wanna give you virtual hugs more than anything first 
you’re going through so much, so all that you’re feeling really is understandable…
With your friends, it really hurts to be in this situation and it sounds like there’s some misunderstanding going on… is there anyone you can identify in your social circle who knows you and understands your situation?
While it may feel like there is no one left in your corner, I wanna say we are here to support you, and there are ppl in your life who will see you for you🫂
With all the confusing symptoms you’re feeling, it all must feel really overwhelming… speaking to a professional will certainly help give some clarity, help u navigate through these tough times and emotions ><
Feel free to share more here okie there are ppl here for you, truly! 