Mental health and thoughts

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17F here. Q here. What do I think about when we talk about mental health?

Suddenly there’s a big hoohaa about this term.
I’m thankful that Mental health has become a big thing thanks to advocacy. We better understand what is mental health and how it is important to all of us. Schools have more Mental health related talks and even provide hotlines. Some schools have Peer support training for school peer supporter. Even from a younger person’s POV, the older generation do make a point to be curious about this topic. Social organisation have also try to do many outreach in the hopes of educating the public through many events.

Maybe we might have gone pass stereotypes and stigma, have we?

The next question is: is it enough? We have definitely gone pass mental health advocacy. But the question is does mental health advocacy lead to mental health understanding? Have you come across someone passing you a leaflet, only for you to throw it away? Have you heard of a classmate laughing, " wow, exam is so stressful, I WANT TO DIE." or “Wow I think I have TRUAMA/DEPRESSION” without truly understanding what it means? Social media so no help either as people do fall in the trap of self diagnosing themselves and believing in psychology tricks without like actually thinking if it is a reliable stats or data. (I seen it all over TikTok.) Suddenly we are all expert in the mental health field.

Bits of my Personal journey with mental health

Mental heath has been somewhat dear to me, I first started my advocacy 6 months ago after my O’levels. But first, I wanted to work on my healing journey first.

Singapore glorified that I should seek help! See a therapist. So with whatever strength I have left, I clinged on to my hope and went to therapy for the first time on my own. To all the therapist out there, you know how social services have this confidentiality form. It was so scary man. But I went in for my first session cause they say I do not need perental consent only for the first session. Honestly, I find it hard to gauge my first session. But for the next session, I had to get my parents to sign with My mom asking me about what problems I have. (You don’t need to have problems to go for therapy btw!) “Anxiety lor”. Soon I went to the next session. And the next. And I think my parents forgotten about therapy because we never brought it up ever again. Sometimes Im wondering if they know I’m suffering at all. I’m currently more than 10 session in.

At the age of 17, I was all alone desperately finding help.

Here is a presenting problem: I’m not getting better. I know how I was taught that healing is not linear. Which I totally agree. But you know when you are stuck in this vicious cycle and you really want to get out, your next instinct is desperation? I’ll do anything I can.

So I looked into other organizations: free Mental health assessments; some social services programmes for youths, go for talks by different social services, volunteer my time to find like minded people. All these in a desperate attempt.

Sometimes my mental health will get so bad till I can’t get out of bed. There will be hotlines I can use rather than talking to friend who is busy with their own lives or family members who you are not close to. All in all, strangers who wouldn’t mind me sharing, plus I’m anonymous!

But I still can’t get any better… so I deleted myself out of my own IG account cause social media is sure damn toxic.

I done the steps. I did what I was told to do. But I still feel the same. The same fucked up feeling still stays within me… nothing got better.

And it’s not like I’ll have the same set of enthusiasm everytime I fail. I want to be okay. I know I’m impatient. Cause I don’t know when I will fall.

Thoughts?

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First off, let’s take a minute to acknowledge the courage you have found in yourself to come out and speak your heart Gladys. Despite advocacy and movements, the stigma often remains more internal than external, and the hardest part is recognising and being aware that you might have a mental wellness situation going on. Awareness aside, the next big step you took was to seek help, and that’s scary AF, kudos to you for those steps. I think you should give yourself more credit than you think you deserve.

The path to mental wellness is a bit like playing snakes and ladders (not sure if you’ve played it before), but the gist of it is that there will be days where you land on a ladder and feel super good about yourself, and some days when you land on a snake and slide down to a lower level. The goal of snakes and ladders is to reach the end, and the human equivalent is to live a life well lived, so is our journey towards mental wellness.

I can’t say I understand what you’re going through as all our journeys are the same, but the law of universality points that more often than not, most of us are going through similar tribulations, and I’m sure you are going through a hard time. The journey gets harder when we feel unsupported by our loved ones, I agree. But we shouldn’t be relying on it; our journeys are ours to make alone.

I see fierce determination within you to be better in your last paragraph, and I’ll leave you with this. ‘We never fail in life. We either win, or we learn’, so don’t be afraid of falling, you’ll be surprised how much stronger you get each time you get back up.

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Hey @Elephant101

Thanks for sharing more about your thoughts on mental health and of your own personal experience as well.

I am really amazed by how resourceful you are and how you pushed through the administrative barriers to get yourself to therapy. Your determination and commitment to your self-healing is admirable. :sparkles:

Despite all your efforts, you shared that you are not getting better and the same feelings stay within you. I’m curious, if you managed to identify what those feelings are? What were the events in your life that led you to feel that way? And what were the triggers that caused these feelings to resurface? Sometimes, when we have exhausted all efforts to seek help externally, it might be worth the attempt to pivot and look inwards instead.

If you are open to share more, I would be happy to listen! Otherwise, it’s okay as well to save the response to these questions in your own personal journal. :orange_book: :seedling:

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Hi @Elephant101 thanks for sharing your journey with us. Echoing @indomiegoreng’s comments, your resilience and commitment to recovery is admirable.

And I think my parents forgotten about therapy because we never brought it up ever again. Sometimes Im wondering if they know I’m suffering at all. I’m currently more than 10 session in. At the age of 17, I was all alone desperately finding help.

I sense that you would like your parents to understand and support you better. Have you tried getting a counselling session with your parents involved? Parents, especially Asian parents, are sometimes not very good in expressing their deep love and concern for us. They may not be able to solve our problems but I think their understanding is sometimes a good source of strength and support to keep us going.

And remember that you are not alone in this journey. There are many people out here in let’s talk and in the world who do care about people and are looking to reach out.

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Hi @Elephant101,

First of all, thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and feelings here. It does take a lot of courage to share your journey and experiences with mental health, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. You are a brave one, and it’s really heartening to hear that mental health awareness and advocacy efforts have gained momentum, leading to more resources and support being available, especially in schools.

I agree with your concern - that whether we’ve truly moved past stereotypes and stigma… This is so true, have we really moved past them? One thing I know for certain is that changing attitudes and perceptions about mental health can take a long time, and it’s not always easy for everyone to fully understand the complexity of these issues. People might make casual comments without realizing the impact they can have, and social media can sometimes perpetuate misconceptions.

Your personal journey with mental health highlights the importance of seeking help and reaching out when needed - and I’m proud of you for this! It’s great that you took that step and went to therapy, even though it was initially intimidating. You know, seeking therapy is a really courageous and essential act of self-care. Your experience with confidentiality forms and parental consent is common, but it’s crucial for ensuring your well-being.

I’m truly sorry to hear that you’re feeling stuck and that your mental health hasn’t improved as much as you’d hoped. Healing is indeed not linear, and it can be a challenging and frustrating process. It’s okay to feel impatient and to want things to get better quickly, but please know that there is no fixed timeline for recovery. Each person’s journey is unique :slight_smile:

It’s good to hear that you’ve explored various avenues for support, such as attending talks, volunteering, and reaching out to hotlines. These are valuable steps in your recovery journey, and I encourage you to keep seeking the support that feels right for you. It’s also wise to recognize when social media is impacting your mental health negatively and taking a break from it is a healthy decision.

Perhaps you can also try these activities during moments when you feel overwhelmed, they might help you ride through for the moment:

All in all, please know that recovery often involves trying different approaches and strategies, and sometimes it can take time to find what works best for you. It’s important to keep communicating with your therapist about your progress and concerns - they are there to support you and adjust your treatment plan as needed.

Again, do continue to reach out to the resources available to you and lean on those who genuinely care about your well-being. I want to encourage you again, there is hope for your healing. You are not alone in this, and this community is here with you.