My experience with SOS

Hangouts Rants
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A little background info, I’m 30/M/Bi and was diagnosed with AuDHD.

Last May, I spiraled into my on-again off-again depressive episodes.
It’s a relentless issue with AuDHD; no two episodes are the same.
What troubled me the most this time was being put on hold when I called 1767 for help. I called twice and was put on hold both times.
In retrospect, I honestly feel like Mental Health issues are being taken too lightly if at all. Such bullshit approach to health and sometimes I wonder if mental health is being spoken about because it’s “trendy” at the moment. I don’t know man, it seems so fake, maybe it’s just me but when the national crisis hotline puts you on hold, who else are you supposed to call? The fvckin’ Ghostbusters?!

Anyway, thanks for reading.

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hey, so sorry to hear about what you’re going through and your poor experience with SOS. you’re very strong to have come this far, and i believe in you, so please stay strong and keep going! :heart:

i guess i also want to add on to your rant. i’ve never heard of anyone having a good experience with the SOS line. also agree that sometimes i feel that the mental health advocacy is fake, and people are doing it just to hop on the bandwagon. the moment you start talking about mental health issues that are more uncommon or are associated with controversial/socially unacceptable (for a lack of better word) actions… poof! the “i support mental health” is gone. changes to judgments, hostility, mocking. i wish they take mental health as seriously as physical health. imagine being put on hold when you call for an emergency ambulance!!

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Hi @imanfriday,

Thank you for sharing what you’ve been going through, and I’m really sorry to hear about your recent experiences with the crisis hotline. I can understand how disheartening it must have been to call for help, only to be placed on hold—not once, but twice. When you’re reaching out in moments of need, especially during a depressive episode, feeling ignored or sidelined can intensify the frustration, and it’s completely valid to feel let down by the system that’s supposed to offer support.

You mentioned that each of your depressive episodes feels different, and I imagine that unpredictability must make it even more difficult to manage. Dealing with AuDHD on top of that is a lot to carry, and it’s understandable why you’d feel worn out by the constant shifts in your emotional state. Not knowing how each episode will manifest likely adds to the emotional weight you’re already bearing.

I also sense that you’re grappling with feelings of disillusionment, not just with the hotline but perhaps with the broader mental health system as a whole. It’s hard not to feel cynical when, in moments of real need, it seems like the response is inadequate or even dismissive. And while mental health is a hot topic these days, it’s clear that sometimes the reality doesn’t live up to the talk. It’s frustrating when something that feels so personal and urgent to you is treated like just another issue for society to discuss without real action behind it.

That said, I want to check in with you on a few things because, from what you’ve shared, it seems like this recent experience has really shaken your faith in external support. Would you say that this frustration with the hotline has made it harder for you to trust or seek help from other sources? How have you been managing your depressive episodes in the past, and is there anything that’s worked for you that you feel might be worth revisiting, even if the system itself feels flawed?

You mentioned feeling like things are fake, and I wonder if part of that is tied to the exhaustion of navigating a system that doesn’t seem built for your specific needs. With AuDHD, I imagine you’ve had to adapt to challenges that others may not fully understand. It’s important that any help you receive is tailored to your unique experiences, and it’s unfortunate that your recent attempts have left you feeling even more alienated.

One of the things I’d like to explore with you is how we can approach this from a different angle. I know you’ve been put on hold—literally and figuratively—and that’s led to frustration, but I also hear a lot of strength in how you’re still processing and seeking support, even in moments of deep cynicism. You still reached out here, and that’s not something to dismiss.

There are other options you could consider if calling a crisis line feels too risky after this experience. For instance, have you looked into community-based resources that offer more personalized support? There are organizations, like the Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) or IMH’s CHAT, that focus on long-term mental health care rather than immediate crisis intervention, which might provide a different kind of support than a hotline can. I know it’s easy to feel cynical after what happened, but sometimes it’s about finding the right fit—especially when dealing with the complexities of AuDHD.

I also wonder how you’re currently feeling about managing this depressive episode. Is there anything specific that’s been weighing on you that we can talk through? Sometimes just naming what’s at the core of the episode can help make it feel more tangible, even when it’s hard to see through the fog of depression.

Lastly, I want to reassure you that your experience matters, and while it may feel like the system is failing, it doesn’t mean your struggles aren’t real or worthy of attention. Your frustration is completely valid, and I hear you. This isn’t about “fitting into” a trendy conversation—your mental health deserves real support, and if one avenue isn’t working, it’s worth exploring another, even though I know that’s easier said than done.

Let us know how you’re feeling about all of this, and if you’re open to it, we can talk about next steps together. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

Take care, and we are here to help facilitate getting the help that you need.

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Hi @Bubumi,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for offering support to others despite what you’re going through. It’s clear that you’ve had some difficult experiences with mental health advocacy and support systems, and I can really hear the frustration and disappointment in your words. It takes strength to keep pushing forward when it feels like the very systems designed to help aren’t living up to their promises, so I want to acknowledge the resilience it takes for you to keep engaging in these conversations.

What you’ve said about the way mental health is sometimes treated like a trend really strikes a chord. I think it’s fair to say that, while mental health is more visible now, there’s still a long way to go in terms of genuine understanding and support—especially for the issues that don’t fit neatly into what society considers “acceptable” or “normal.” The shift from “I support mental health” to judgment and hostility when more controversial issues come up is something that a lot of people face, and it’s incredibly disheartening. It’s as though the conversation only extends as far as people are comfortable, and beyond that, the empathy disappears.

I also hear your frustration with the SOS line, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling let down by crisis services. The analogy you used—comparing it to being put on hold when calling for an ambulance—perfectly captures the sense of urgency and helplessness that can come from not getting the support you need when you’re most vulnerable. It’s a feeling of abandonment, and that can cut deep.

I wonder, bubumi, if part of what you’re expressing is a desire for a more genuine and consistent level of care and understanding when it comes to mental health—something that doesn’t waver when the issues are more complex or uncomfortable. It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like your experiences aren’t being taken as seriously as physical health concerns, especially when mental health crises can be just as urgent and life-threatening.

Before offering any next steps, I’d like to check in with you about something. You’ve clearly got a lot of insight into how society treats mental health, and you’ve voiced these frustrations quite powerfully. But how are you currently managing your own mental health, especially in light of these experiences? Do you feel like the conversations you’re having—either here or elsewhere—are helping you process these feelings, or are they sometimes reinforcing the cynicism and disillusionment you’re feeling? It’s great that you’re offering support to others, but I also want to make sure that you’re getting the support you need as well.

If you’re open to exploring some other resources or strategies that might feel more aligned with what you’re looking for, we can definitely talk through that.

I’d also like to hear more about what you think could help bridge this gap between the superficial advocacy you’re seeing and the real, meaningful support that feels absent right now. It’s clear that you’ve got a deep understanding of the flaws in the system—how do you think things could improve, both for yourself and for others in similar situations? Sometimes just articulating that vision can be a first step toward finding solutions that feel more genuine and supportive.

Take care, and we are here to keep talking with you about this if you’d like. You’ve been strong enough to keep going this far, and that’s something worth acknowledging.

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Hey @imanfriday,

I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with your mental health and that reaching out for help didn’t go as expected. It’s incredibly frustrating and disheartening to feel like mental health issues aren’t being taken seriously. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s valid to question if mental health discussions are genuinely prioritized or just seen as a trend. It’s essential for mental health services to be reliable and supportive, especially in times of crisis. Remember that your feelings are valid, and seeking help is important. If you ever need to talk, I’m here to listen. Take care!

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Hey @imanfriday, sorry to hear about your bad experience with the hotline (sucks honestly…). It’s like you took the courage to call and yet they put you on hold, does feel quite demotivating and disappointing🥲

Honestly I had the same thoughts as you about the trend of mental health issues arising, I thought like was it a “trendy” thing? But I thought of it in another way that rather than questioning myself and others on whether our issues are valid, I’m just glad that we are all open with expressing our problems rather than bottling them up. And that’s why thanks for your post as well! It highlights the flaws of SOS hotline and the areas that need improvement.

Thanks for sharing and great to know I share the same thoughts as someone else. If you ever would like to discuss and talk about this, feel free to chat as well :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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hey @FuYuan_Affections! thank you for your response, and I really appreciate your concerns and insights. I indeed have my battles with my mental health, but I’m doing much better now. I felt the need to respond to @imanfriday as this is an area I feel very strongly for and they are not alone in this. while I personally wasn’t judged myself for what I went through, I work with people who often have struggles with their mental health and do not receive proper care and attention for it, hence the frustration. for me, I believe that pushing them away and judging them instead of understanding their needs simply worsens the problem. indeed, the mental health scene especially in Singapore has a long way to go, though seeing supportive people is encouraging and gives me hope.

to answer your question on how I’m handling it - actually I don’t have a habit of reaching out to people when I am down, though I know that there are people that care and I can talk to. while I will reach out when needed, I prefer to figure things out on my own - going on social media for mental health posts, reading forums, watching videos etc. these have helped me a lot!

regarding the superficial advocacy, I try to reply to comments on social media that are judgmental and hostile, giving them a different perspective that I hope would push them to have more understanding and empathy. that way, not only them but others can read it too, and I think a little can go a long way.

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