Im Muhammad Nur , stage name Mano Esperanza ( Means Hand of Hope in Spanish ).
Hope you can bear with my long post lol.
About 15years ago i met a Brazilian girl online. I couldn’t get her address or phone number so i resorted to think outside of the box. I would write emails and letter that i would scan. I was in love. I drew a live portrait of her and scan it and email it to her. I also wrote her a song and send the MP3 clip via email.
Anyways, it turned out that i got catfished.
Met 2 other girls a year later and one of them claimed that she didnt have much time so i wrote her a song.
At 27 i broke down and after 44 days in IMH i was diagnosed with Schizo Affective. My case manager was there to give support and i wrote a song for the encouraging words she spoke - Its tittle Conversation With.
I have been an Avid advocator for Mental health for about a decade now - Thru my music and some of the highlights is that i manage to play for a world mental health day in Botanic Gardens Symphony Stage and had the Honor to perform for the Former President Madam Halimah Yacob on two occasion under the banner of Club Heal.
To answer the question. 1)Music has been my tool to story tell about my life experiences. It made me a more vocal person instead of the " I keep everything bottled up cause no one cares " type of person. I have learned and self reflect that there will be people who will not like you but there will be tons of other people that do.
And for the longest time,i have been critiqued on my singing techniques. I used to get very upset about it cause i wanted to please people. I even went to see a shrink ( Dr. Daryl Chow ) cause it caused me so much destress. The people i met in the music industry, well, have a certain standard. But i did agree with a friend that my pronunciation had to be clear so listeners can make out what i sing. I have learned when to take in advice and when not to. For example, Van Gogh, his art is not of the conventional at his time but its accepted now. He had a vision and stuck with it no matter what people say. I learned that i need to filter and see if an idea aligns with my ideal as a person and not to loose the essence of who i am and what i stand for.
During this journey, it has taught me Grit. And with about 45 tracks, Some Instrumental, Some in Malay, Mostly in English and one in Spanish and another in Brazilian Portuguese… Its my life’s work. I hope to finally record them next year cause it has helped me cope and become stable enough to function - Next to Normal. I hoped that it could help some other souls out there that need to hear them.
I had paused my drawing of portrait for a decade until i decided to do another hobby which is writing. I illustrated a Novela i wrote called " The Flute Underneath the Moonlight ". It talks about the folklore about the flute - Once there was a Musician from Peru who fell in love but the girl died. So he took her tibia bone ( Shin bone of the leg) and made a flute out of it "…It has elements of mental health and some twists at the end. And another book i wrote was about my mental health journey called " Hand of Hope ". Both are available on Amazon.com
- My main goal was just to journal my experiences thru music , art and writing but i got sucked into doing it more seriously i guess. I did have big dreams and i know people reading this would laugh - Like accolades such as Grammy etc.
Now i am just at a path where i just want the stories in form of music art or writing to be out there. Doesnt matter if only 1 or 2 people enjoy it.
Sorry again for the long reply.
Would love to hear your reply soon.
Mano Esperanza ( Muhammad Nur )