my helper has been absent for some time now and I have to do all the house chores on my own. its is very mentally and physically draining. she would take part in giveaways and hang out at the gym taking selfies. is this even normal? she says that she needs to go to the gym so that she can strengthen herself for taking up heavier duties. im perplexed. I need someone to carry my bag as my back pain is getting worst. should I dismiss her already?
You need to dismiss her, she’s actively not doing her job even making excuses for it, but that’ just imo
ThaneToques : still, I would like to have a conversation with her and handle it professionally. we have a child at home, and im worried that she might be at risk (abuse my baby who’s innocent). she has ran away from home, we are not sure when she’ll return.
hey @Windon567, it sounds like you’ve been under a lot of stress, managing the house on your own while dealing with back pain 
. it’s understandable that you’re frustrated and confused by your helper’s behaviour – taking part in giveaways and spending a lot of time at the gym, esp when her duties at home aren’t being met, would leave anyone feeling worried or perplexed about what’s going on! and her absence clearly has a real impact on your daily functioning :((
wanting to handle things professionally is rlly wise, esp with a child at home. and the fact that she’s run away and you don’t know when she’ll be back… that’s an incredibly serious situation. if i may, here are some things i’d recommend doing:
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confirm that she has truly absconded. eg. remains uncontactable, missing belongings.
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if so, file a police report, notify MOM, and contact the maid agency. absconding is a serious matter, and they can guide you on next steps and ensure everything is documented properly.
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if she returns abruptly, avoid confrontation. keep things calm, and try to have another adult present if possible.
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have a calm, clear conversation with her about expectations. set firmer boundaries (eg. what time she should be home, what tasks must be completed daily). if she insists she needs the gym for health reasons, you can request a doctor’s note.
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check the terms of her contract so you know your rights & responsibilities before making any major decision.
whatever you decide, make sure it’s sth that protects both your safety and peace of mind. hoping things get resolved smoothly for you and your family 
thanks for the advice pinkskies - have found out that she was having an affair outside and we have decided to terminate her services. fortunately, we have managed to find a new maid today, she was very helpful and politely greeted us. also, she cooks well for my child and gave her burrito to eat. in terms of fitness, I think she is acceptable but we would have to monitor her performance progressively.
thanks y’all fo the well wishes. it means alot to my family =) 
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yayy i’m glad to hear that you’ve gotten clarity on the situation and found a new helper who seems reliable! that must be such a relief for you and your family 
wishing y’all a smoother, more peaceful season ahead 
actually not just one, but a few potential maids. thanks for yo well wishes, we are excited! =)
well I hope everything works out eventually for you
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hello, thank you for sharing. perhaps you can delegate some tasks such as carrying your groceries if it is too heavy and perhaps tell her that you are having an aching back.
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