hi guys. for context, last week i bought a tin of hershey’s chocolates. they were $3.80 but expensive since i wasn’t planning to spend that much on snacks that day. they honestly don’t rly need to be in the fridge but i put them in cos they were getting kinda melted. at first i hid it cos my dad has a history of eating things from the fridge that aren’t his (in his mind everything in the fridge is free for all) but then i was hiding it vertically which made the chocolates stick to each other so i decided to just leave it visible but horizontally and just hoped he wouldn’t take it…
ytd i had my first finals which went q badly (my score was much lower than anticipated i alm failed) and i came home tired and upset and opened the fridge hoping to eat my chocolates… only to pick up the tin and realise it was much lighter than i left it… so i slide it open and have to slide almost all the way cos suddenly i realise THERES ONLY 4 PIECES LEFT ??? i left like at least 10 pieces in there like it was FULL the last time i ate some and suddenly it was almost empty…. so i ask my sis and she said my dad ate it… so i ask him why he ate it ?? and then he said “i didn’t know whose it was” “expired alr” WDYM expired i just bought it LESS than a week ago ?? i asked him to pay for it and (in my view it looked like he was very very reluctant and unwilling to).
so last night i complain to my mum hoping to find some comfort and ofc she gives me a mini lecture on gratefulness and how other ppl elsewhere are going through so much worse yappity yap yap yap yap. i’m like mum i js need some comfort idn this rn. i ask her if she cld pay me back for the chocolates and she said no.
later she tells my dad and he’s like HUH i didn’t say i wldnt pay for the chocolates blah blah blah. he tries to knock on my locked door but i was trying to cry in peace….
anyway tdy i had 2 more papers i came home and avoided my dad cos i didn’t wanna deal w him rn. he comes to talk to me and is like “i didn’t say i wldnt pay for the chocolates. i was js dealing w other stuff the world doesn’t revolve ard u” then he say next time i need to label things in the fridge if its mine cos if he sees it he’s gonna eat it then im like ive told u before when something was mine and u still ate it and he was like “don’t bring up the past” then he says “in the workplace is like that. u don’t label its free for all” but we’re not in the workplace dad. then he said ok then don’t use my fridge don’t put things in the snack cupboard either (but when i put things in my own cupboards/drawers he complain say attract ants )
it’s not even abt the labels it’s him taking things that don’t belong to him ?? and he didn’t even apologise btw he just talked down to me in a very “im right you’re wrong” condescending tone (very loud raised voice for someone always telling me to watch my tone) i rolled my eyes at him and turned away and then he got mad u disrespect my feelings i disrespect you lor….
ok yea that’s the end i alr cried twice cos of this… eh no 3 times sorry…. and i haven’t cried in like at least a few months… idk i js needed to let this out is anyone else’s parents like this cos im so done.
Hey @manda1. I hear you. This really wasn’t just about a tin of chocolates. You were already drained from finals, and that tiny treats were supposed to be your comfort after a rough day. Then to realize most of it was gone is quite disappointing. Bigger than that, it was about feeling disrespected, unheard, and shut down by the people who are supposed to support you.
It sounds frustrating that instead of acknowledging how you felt, your parents turned it into lectures or defensiveness. Wanting a bit of comfort or accountability isn’t unreasonable at all. And I can imagine how invalidating it must’ve felt when your mum brought up being “grateful” instead of listening, or when your dad acted like the issue was your tone instead of his actions. That can really mess with your head.
The fact that you spoke up and tried to communicate your feelings shows strength and self-respect. Even if your parents don’t acknowledge it, you’re practicing setting boundaries and standing up for yourself
Actually, there are a lot of people who’ve experienced similar things with their parents so you’re not alone in this. Many people struggle with parents who don’t recognize emotional boundaries or who think “small” things shouldn’t matter, even though they do.
Wishing you small moments of peace and comfort as you recover from all this, ya
Thank you for sharing this on the platform. It must not have been easy to handle what was going on with your parents on top of your finals. It must have been really hurtful that your parents reacted the way they did, especially during this stressful period. To start off, I wanted to say that you’re really strong for hanging in there and pushing on despite this
Also, I hear you on this. My father acts in a similar way as yours. Whenever there’s something he likes in the fridge, my father would always eat it and not leave it for anybody else to share. And whenever he was confronted by it, he would either say it wasn’t him that ate it or that he didn’t know. He’ll always never apologies or offer to buy back, and man, it really gets annoying at times. What I’ve learnt from this was that I cannot change him, so I’ll change myself and how I react to it. So food wise I’ll try to buy things that I can put in my room so I know he wont take it or buy things he don’t like that I do. If I need someone to talk to, I mostly talk with my friends too.
However, I understand too that it can be hurtful when your own family doesn’t seem to listen to you or invalidate what you’re feeling. Maybe you could try other ways to share what you’re feeling in the future, maybe to friends or other trusted adults? If you feel it could be helpful, maybe you could find a time when you’re less occupied with your studies to speak to them on it? It’s alright if you do not wish to as well
Hang in there and hope that things get better for you All the best for the rest of your finals too
hello, thank you for sharing. I understand that it can be quite stressful at times, especially during exam season, and for your favourite treat to be eaten, I hear you. Perhaps you can store your treats in a small box? And I understand the period can get hectic, perhaps you can also reach out to your friends or recharge by going on walks to recollect your thoughts. Rooting for you OP!
Same, My old man had also eaten My food, not in fridge, my non choc biscuits had gotten less and by far most exp item i din forget my chicken essence. That time i was losing alot blood, he refused to help me buy so i had to go buy it myself. And the assh took i was so pissed i yelled at him to buy back another box. The only time he din ans back. I was mad coz he din care abt me n dared to take
My bro and mum won’t eat my things so I knew. Other times wil ans back with rude stuff blah blah
Indeed its so awful that u bought yr own stuff, not for them even tho family but not being respected !
The reason for such behav is likely emo immature, u can read Adult children of emo immature parents. Not that they will change.. but it describes how to cope a bit better. Either next time u find a hiding place or label yr stuff– for me i also followup with a warning - u dont touch or else u pay back
LESS than a week ago ?? i asked him to pay for it and (in my view it looked like he was very very reluctant and unwilling to).
All the best for the rest of your finals too 
my chicken essence. That time i was losing alot blood, he refused to help me buy so i had to go buy it myself. And the assh took i was so pissed i yelled at him to buy back another box. The only time he din ans back. I was mad coz he din care abt me n dared to take
!