ima begging for help. because, ima losing it soon. why am I still here if all I do is cause problems, hurt others. just cos ima not stable. that I can’t control my mental health. sometimes I wish I could disappear, then everyone would be happier without me. sometimes I wish I stopped feeling anything at all so it didn’t hurt anymore. or sometimes I wish I could just feel a slight happiness again. cos everyday, ima barely getting by
Hi user442, thank you for reaching out. First, I want to affirm your courage to share your struggles and to let you know that we are here for you. It must be a hard feeling to think that everything you do is causing problems to others. You mentioned being unstable and wanting to disappear. I would imagine there is a lot going on in your life now and you’re feeling really overwhelmed.
Before proceeding further, I really want to make sure that you’re safe. If you have thoughts of hurting yourself/others, please approach SOS or IMH immediately as they are able to work through with you on the issues you are facing.
Please call either of these numbers:
There may be times when things in life get tough and the overwhelming feelings may make us want to look for an escape. Here are 4 steps you can take to rebalance yourself:
Get some space—Stepping away from the situation you’re in and taking a few moments for yourself can help reduce the feelings of being overwhelmed and helplessness. Sometimes wanting to disappear could mean taking a walk, listening to your favourite songs, or spending time in nature.
Next, identify the source of this feeling—check in with yourself to get to the root of what’s going on to cause the feeling. Ask yourself, “What is making me feel this way?” and be honest with your answer because that’s what you’re looking for.
From there, take a look at what you can change—If you think that what you’re doing isn’t what you want to do and is perhaps contributing to conflicts/problems, talk to someone you trust to support you in making the changes you want. If you think that you’re unable to manage your fluctuating emotions, consider seeking therapy. There is always a way to deal with the situation instead of disappearing altogether.
Alter your narrative—Sometimes, it really is not what you think it is. How we perceive a situation can influence how we feel about it. For instance, rather than thinking “everything is my fault” or “I want to disappear”, try to name what wants you to disappear. Telling yourself “anger/guilt/loneliness wants me to disappear” can put some distance between you and these thoughts. This may help you take a step back and realise that it is these unhelpful thoughts that want you to disappear.
Hope this helps, and please be assured that you don’t have to walk through this alone. Help is always available (: