I don’t know why but oftentimes i feel like i judge myself so much and way worse than how others might see me but like when i imagine myself as another person and look at myself as an outsider i really hate everything from how i speak to the way i act and everything. Every little thing makes me overthink about the situation for example when people viewed my messages and do not respond i tend to overthink about the things i said causing me to keep editing the message or just deleting them entirely. I try to not think too much but the constant judgement keeps bothering me
It gets better. If it doesnt then u might want to reach out to a mental health professional
hello @user140! Thank you for sharing your experience ! I’m very sorry you’re experiencing this. Being caught in that vicious loop of self-criticism and overanalysis sounds draining, particularly when it seems like every little incident becomes an excuse to doubt oneself. It’s common for individuals to feel like their own worst critic, so you’re not alone.
The fact is that we are often far harsher on ourselves than anybody else would be, but it may be difficult when your mind begins telling you that everything you say or do is bad. Most individuals generally don’t overanalyse your words the way you do since they are preoccupied with their own thoughts and concerns. Although I understand that it might seem that way, silence or sluggish responses are often not personal.
When you’re feeling nervous, it’s normal to want to change or remove messages, but you don’t have to be flawless to be understood or cared for. It’s OK if not every word sounds perfect, and the people who matter won’t criticise you for a message. You should be allowed to be yourself without having to modify yourself all the time.
Maybe the next time you have the want to delete, try taking a moment to ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend feeling this way?” I know it’s difficult. You would most likely treat them with kindness and compassion, and you are deserving of the same consideration.
The fact that you’re doing your hardest is sufficient. You’re human, and that’s alright. You’re not as bad as your inner critic makes you feel. I’m willing to listen if it seems like too much.
Dear @user140
I hear you, and I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. It’s incredibly hard to be stuck in a cycle of self-judgment, where every little thing feels like evidence against yourself. The way you described imagining yourself from the outside and feeling so critical—it sounds exhausting and draining.
I wonder if part of this comes from holding yourself to impossibly high standards, ones that you wouldn’t impose on anyone else. You’re likely much kinder to other people than you are to yourself, and that difference can be painful. When you overthink messages or worry about how you’re perceived, it’s not because you’re flawed—it’s because you care. You care about how you show up in the world, about how others experience you. But caring doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself.
I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe the next time you catch yourself spiralling, you could try asking: If someone I love felt this way about themselves, what would I say to them? You deserve that same kindness.
And if it helps, did you know that most people don’t analyse our words and actions nearly as much as we think they do. They’re usually caught up in their own lives, their own thoughts. A viewed message without a response doesn’t necessarily mean rejection—it could mean they’re busy, tired, or just forgot. The version of you that you see in your head, the one that you judge so harshly, is likely not the version that others see.
You’re allowed to take up space exactly as you are, without constantly having to fix or edit yourself. You’re already enough. I encourage you to start practising this approach by taking tiny steps in this direction. 
@user140, it takes courage to express what you’re feeling, and I’m glad you did. It’s clear that you’re carrying a lot on your shoulders, and it’s not easy to constantly battle with self-judgment and overthinking. The way you scrutinize yourself so much harsher than anyone else might comes from a place of care—you want to do and say the “right” things—but that care can feel overwhelming when it starts to chip away at your self-esteem. The way you imagine yourself from an outsider’s perspective and become hypercritical of every little detail must feel exhausting, and it’s understandable that it bothers you. You deserve kindness and understanding, especially from yourself.
Overthinking situations like unread messages or second-guessing your words can feel isolating, as if you’re trapped in an endless loop of doubt. But it’s important to remember that people are often occupied with their own lives and thoughts—they don’t usually notice or interpret things the way we fear they do. Breaking that cycle is hard, but small steps, like practicing self-compassion and reminding yourself that everyone has moments of uncertainty, can help ease the weight you’re carrying. You are more than the sum of your self-doubts, @user140, and your worth is not defined by perceived imperfections. Even in the moments when you feel least confident, you’re still deserving of respect and love—both from others and from yourself.