Whenever someone looks at me a certain way, react a certain way, or just shows “signs” of disliking me, I get anxious and think about why they dislike me. I think about what negative things they might think about me. I feel pressured to act better to prove to them they have no reason to dislike me and to prove I’m competent. But their “signs” of disliking me are just small actions or body language that I overanalyze and I trap myself in this hole of self-hatred and worry.
Hey @Adi,
I really appreciate you sharing this because I can tell that these thoughts have been weighing heavily on you. I hear you—how exhausting it must be to constantly analyse interactions, to feel like you have to prove yourself, and to sit with the discomfort of wondering what others think about you. The cycle of anxiety and self-doubt can be overwhelming, and I want to recognise the effort required to articulate these emotions.
You mentioned that small actions, reactions, or body language from others trigger this overwhelming sense of worry and self-hatred. That makes a lot of sense, especially when you care about how you’re perceived. It’s like your mind is constantly scanning for signs of rejection, trying to predict what others might be thinking before they even say anything. Does that sound accurate?
I also noticed that you put so much pressure on yourself to act “better” just to prove that you’re worthy of being liked. It sounds like there’s this unspoken rule in your mind that says, “If someone doesn’t like me, I must be doing something wrong.” Do you remember when you first started feeling like you had to constantly prove yourself in social situations?
I want to pause here for a moment because I know how hard it is to sit with these thoughts. So before we talk about changing them, let’s just sit with this feeling together. Right now, in this moment, what does your body feel like when you think about these situations?
I also want to remind you of something important:
- The way people react can often be for many reasons. Sometimes people are lost in their own thoughts, dealing with their own worries, or simply distracted.
- You don’t have to prove your worth to everyone. Your value is not something that needs to be earned—it already exists, whether someone acknowledges it or not.
You said you feel trapped in this cycle of self-hatred and worry. If there was one small thing you could give yourself right now—whether it’s a break from these thoughts, a moment of self-kindness, or just permission to exist without proving anything—what would it be?
We’ll be here, holding space with you. You don’t have to figure this all out today. 