Recently, Ive been feeling like Im not good enough— that everybody hates me. Its from small action such as a friendC responding ‘hellooooo’ to my friendP but ‘hello’ to me via text and colleagues at work just not really talking to me but my other colleagues instead, to being removed from peoples private/spam accounts and ignored.
Its little things like this that make me feel like maybe Im doing something wrong? I know ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ but as someone who seeks validation from others, I dont know whats wrong with me.
What should I do? Am I overthinking this? How can I stop worrying over this?
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have you heard of occam’s razor?
it is a thinking principle that suggests when faced with multiple explanations for something, it’s often best to start with the simplest one that makes the fewest assumptions.
instead of thinking that everyone hates you, which can be overwhelming and unproductive, it would be more logical to consider that people are just busy with their own lives or are trying to declutter their minds.
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Hi user2945
Thank you for your courage in coming forward with what you experiencing. I am sorry to hear of the challenges before you. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in experiencing these feelings, and it’s completely normal to seek validation from others.
May I suggest the following for you to consider to help manage these thoughts and feelings:
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Recognize Your Emotions
Acknowledge that feeling inadequate or ignored can be painful. It’s okay to feel this way, but it’s also important to understand that these feelings may not reflect reality. Take a step back from the thought instead of accepting it as the whole truth.
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Challenge Negative Thoughts
When you notice negative thoughts creeping in, try to challenge them. Ask yourself:
Is there evidence that supports this thought?
What would I tell a friend who felt this way?
Could there be another explanation for their behavior?
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Focus on Self-Validation
Instead of seeking validation from others, practice self-affirmation. Write down your strengths, achievements, and positive qualities. Remind yourself of these regularly.
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Set Personal Goals
Create small, achievable goals for yourself that focus on personal growth rather than external validation. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Control what you can control and reduce focus on un-controllable factors.
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Engage in New Activities
Join clubs, classes, or groups that align with your interests. This can help you meet new people and build connections based on shared passions.
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Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present and reduce overthinking. Search for free resources available online or join mindfulness classes.
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Limit Social Media Exposure
If social media contributes to your feelings of inadequacy, consider taking a break or selecting your feed to only include more positive influences.
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Seek professional help
Consult a counsellor who are trained to process what you are going through in a safe and non judgmental environment. They can help you achieve more clarity and acquire coping skills.
It’s human nature to seek validation and to feel affected by the actions of others, but it’s crucial to prioritize your mental well-being. By focusing on self-acceptance, building connections, and managing overthinking, you can cultivate a more positive mindset. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect just as you are. Take it one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself. 
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