Was previously in a Snr Mgr position and was headhunted to a D position to run a SME about the size of slightly more than 10 employees. few months in and I’m so burntout. Feeling so lousy because I cannot perform well and I don’t think I am suited for this position, at least not at this point of time. Does not help that the organisation is facing financial difficulties and there is so much pressure on me to just make sure that people’s salaries are paid. I don’t feel it’s fair to me that the clear picture was not painted to me before I joined. Feeling so dejected and angry, because I thought that I my strengths were well sought after and therefore I was headhunted. But it almost feels like they didn’t want to pay a full CEO/Executive Director and therefore got me as a cheaper Director to join to clear the mess.
Everyday, my job is giving me so much anxiety because there is so much to do. I don’t have enough time. And everything is in a mess because there is so much that makes it hard to even organise and work on things.
Hey @mc21, appreciate you reaching out and sharing this here!
You’re really carrying so much right now…the pressure of keeping a whole organization afloat, the sense that you were brought in under false pretenses, and a real crisis of confidence about whether you’re the right person for this role! That’s a huge load to hold separately, and the fact that you’re holding them all together all at once makes sense why you’re feeling burnt out, anxious, and angry
I’d like to gently reflect something back to you! You described yourself as someone whose strengths were recognised enough to be headhunted, and that’s not nothing, okay? And yet right now, in the thick of this chaos, it’s very hard for you to see yourself clearly Burnout has a way of distorting our sense of our own competence. The fact that you’re struggling in something that was misrepresented to you doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not capable! It may mean the whole thing was set up in a way that’d challenge almost anyone!
The anger at not being given the full picture feels really important! Do you feel like there’s anyone you can have an honest convo with about what was and wasn’t disclosed to you before you joined? And outside of work, what does your support look like right now?
If you’d like to speak to someone over the phone, you can always reach out to National Mindline 1771, okay? You can call them at 1771/whatsapp them at 66691771. They are available 24/7!
It was a huge jump and therefore I am aware of my own capabilities. I dont think I am a bad leader and am in fact well liked by many of my team members. It is a reality that the business is going downstream that makes me angry with the fact that this was not told to me.
I dont think i can stay longer in this job and have started looking out for a new job. I’m not shortchanging myself and still looking for a leadership position. However, I am worried about how others might see me for not being to stay long in this job.
