On and off depressive feelings

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Had a crush on this girl around a year ago and we started going out and spending time together, but was led on and she ended things at the start of the year

Ever since then I’ve been having on and off depressive thoughts especially when alone (unfortunately I do spend a lot of time alone because of uni commitments) and have also lashed out at others (including friends) when irritated by the things they said or done

Besides that I often feel that going out with friends only bring about superficial happiness and that I’m not feeling how I used to feel like before when I’m with them and just worthless and not good enough for anyone in general

Any advice please
Thanks in advance

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Hello.@TheKCMusings :wave: Man its not easy ending any relationships and I think what you are feeling now is totally valid :disappointed_relieved:

Hmm why does going out with your friends feel superficial ? What kind of happiness are you looking for ?

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Hi, thanks for the reply

I guess why it’s superficial now is bc i dont feel happy like how i used to previously

I used to visit her on every occasion possible and would go out with her, and every single second is happiness but suddenly that has been taken away and it just feels like nothing can replace that

I mean i still do feel happy meeting my friends but just not as happy as before

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Hi @TheKCMusings :wave:

Thanks for being so courageous in sharing your struggles with us. I want to start by acknowledging the pain you’re experiencing after the end of your relationship. Please know that your feelings are completely valid - it’s understandable to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, frustration, and worthlessness, especially given the circumstances you’ve described.

Experiencing depressive thoughts and lashing out at others can be indicators that you’re struggling with your mental health, and it’s important to address these concerns with care and compassion. It’s commendable that you’ve reached out for support, and I want to reassure you that you’re not alone in this.

If you feel comfortable, I would like to ask some follow-up questions to better understand your situation and how I can best support you. Specifically:

  • How long have you been experiencing these depressive thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, and how persistent are they?
  • Have you noticed any patterns or triggers that seem to exacerbate these feelings?
  • Are there any activities or coping strategies that you’ve found helpful in making you feel better?

In the meantime, I have a couple of suggestions that may help you manage:

  1. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself; know that it’s natural to feel the way you do after experiencing a breakup - it’s a reflection of how much the relationship meant to you. Avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk, and instead, try to offer yourself kindness and understanding during this challenging time.
  2. Engage in self-care: Prioritise activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This could include exercise, spending time outdoors, engaging in hobbies you enjoy, practicing relaxation techniques, and ensuring you’re getting enough rest and nutrition.
  3. Seek social support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mentors who can provide emotional support and companionship. You mentioned that going out with friends brings about superficial happiness - is there perhaps any other friends or family members you feel like you can completely be yourself around? Opening up to someone you trust about what you’re going through can help alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness.
  4. Set boundaries: If you find that spending time with certain friends or engaging in certain activities exacerbates your feelings of worthlessness or superficial happiness, consider setting boundaries to protect your mental health. It’s okay to prioritise your well-being and say no to things that don’t serve you positively.
  5. Consider trying out mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, into your daily routine to help reduce stress and promote emotional balance. Here’s a quick mindfulness-based self-compassion exercise you could try: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg. These techniques can help you cultivate a greater sense of calm and resilience in the face of challenges.

Remember that it’s okay to seek support and take things one step at a time. You deserve compassion, understanding, and support as you navigate through this challenging period. Our community is also here to support you further through this. We’ll be waiting to hear back from you, ok? Till then, take care :slight_smile:

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Hmm I get what you are trying to say :disappointed_relieved:

Its hard to get back the high you felt previously but I think maybe what you need is time and at the same time work ok yourself to get back to who you were before ! Cos I think sometimes when pursuing a person we lose ourselves along the way and maybe what you’re feeling now is you tryna get back to who you were before :people_hugging:

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Thanks for the response, this thing was since the week of the breakup and in terms of trigger idk if there is any because it just happens when someone does something that irritates me and can happen at random