Ive noticed ive been feeling down alot more than usual lately. Im a secondary two student. Ive never had high grades, and my usual grades are around 50-60, 70-80 at max during special occasions since i started secondary school. Recently, i have found myself feeling worse and worse as the days go by and i usually only find comfort in my friends and my online comics, etc. Last year, my parents were not too strict on me as i was still adapting to secondary school life, but at the start of this year, since weighted assesments have just started, they have put alot of pressure on me. Im in a class of 31 students, and they expect me to be top 10 for all my subjects. All 8. I dont have the heart to study but i still try my best, although my best isnt very great either. I am especially weak at math and science, and the weighted assesments for those two subjects have been quite hard. This led to me getting more stressed and eating a bunch of junk food and getting heavier. Since it was also the chinese new year period, i have gained a few kg of weight and my parents have started pointing it out infront of relatives and friends, so i often feel insecure about my body. I am actually quite light for my height(the bmi thingies) and i could already be considered close to underweight/ going to become underweight. Since my mother is severely underweight, everyone compares me to her and have started calling me fat. Ive been trying to work out. When we took height and weight in school, i always tried to peek at my friends weights and they are often lighter than me, making me feel more insecure than i already am. I try not to look and make myself feel bad but i cant. I only find happiness in talking to my friends in school and reading comics online, but sometimes i really dont want to live anymore. Maybe its my fault for not trying hard enough.
Mannnn I hear you’re going through a lot and have a lot on your mind now…
For school grades, sigh sometimes we can only try our best~ I think from what you shared, I’m hearing that you’re quite aware that your parents’ expectations are really quite high, so understandable if you’re finding it hard to get there!! Give yourself pats on your own shoulders after you’ve spend quality amount of time studying yeah, you’re doing your best and that’s what counts!!!
For the fat shaming aspect, I think health is the most important aspect!!! If your BMI is healthy, youre doing great!!! Your mom’s perspective still matters, cos it’s her worldview, but you can have your own stance on what you think your body and health should be like. Take good care of yourself most impt!!
Hope it gets better for ya 
Thank you for your kind words and everything :')
Hey there, sounds like you are feeling a great deal of pressure from your parents in terms of their academic expectations of you… Have you tried negotiating with them? Maybe instead of them expecting you to immediately be the top 10 for ALL subjects, you can start small and ask them if it would be okay for you to be top 10 for at least 2 subjects. Then you can slowly work your way up and aim to be top 10 for more subjects overtime, instead of having such a big jump.
Also, just wondering if you’ve tried sharing with your parents more about the negative emotions and stress that you’ve been facing. Maybe if you tell them how you feel, they would be able to empathise with you.
As for your concerns regarding your weight, I feel that this issue is linked to your academic issue, where you are eating more to cope with this stress. So once you deal with the academic stress, it will have some positive effect on your mental health and I guess you won’t have to eat so much junk food to cope with your emotions anymore.
Having said that, I can imagine that you are feeling pressured to lose weight because everyone else is comparing your mom to yourself. However, I hope you know that everyone’s body is built different, and you are beautiful in your own way so don’t worry too much about what others have to say! 
Hope this helps you!
Today, i tried talking to my parents abitu my grades and following your advice. Instead of understanding, they decided to give me more pressure by asking me to be top 30% in all the express classes(most of the other classes are alot better in academics). When i told them it would be very difficult as most of the other classes have alot better grades(cause we are grouped into classes by grades right) not only did they not understand me, they scolded me and said i wasnt trying hard enough and if i actually tried i would have done it and that i am a failure. They said that 30%is more than enough and that i should be happy they didnt ask for 20%.i havent stopped crying and hyperventilating for 15 minutes.
Thank you for your advice and your kind words but i dont think my parents will understand​:sob:
when they saw me crying they asked me to stop wasting my time crying and just go back to studying
Sometimes parents are stuck in their ways, and that may hurt us in some ways :((( it’s gonna be a long journey communicating and overcoming their current perspectives >< I don’t know how else to help, but I only wanna give you comfort, that as long as you are trying, it is good enough!!!
Thank youu​:sob:i really appreciate strangers who dont even know me comforting me during hard times 
hey! for your weight situation: It’s okay if your bmi is within normal, there’s no reason for you to start being concern over your weight! I gained at least 5 kg per year when i started hitting puberty, it’s actually pretty normal! Your body is developing at this age, weight gain is reasonable. Some of my friends are just really light too since they have fast metabolism, but everybody’s body is different. I’d say that as long as your bmi is okay, your body is fine too!
I feel you, my coping mechanism is eating too.
Happy? Eat
Sad? Eat
Angry? Eat
I think everyone has their own coping mechanism so I think it’s okay to eat whatever food you want - in moderation.
After all, what is life without good food? 
It seems like most of your stress is coming from your parents. Have you had anyone else in the family to speak with? Eg siblings or cousins that will be able to understand your parents expectations and temperament?
My only sibling is my younger brother and im not that close to my cousins 
I see, does your younger brother feel the same way as you too? Have you had the chance to speak with him or do you think he’s not mature enough yet to understand what you’re going through?
I dont think hes mature enough yet but sometimes he just likes to call me a failire ;-;
Hi @Goodmorning ! Seems like you have to manage high expectations set by your parents. Firstly, don’t feel bad about your grades. They don’t look too alarming to me. My personal advise wrt improving your math grades is that you need to gain familiarity with the techniques used to solve math questions. This can be done by practising more and you can do it simply by working out all your textbook questions for each topic. Doing so will help you strategise your approaches to solving questions. For science, you need to ensure whether you have gotten a clear understanding of each concept. this is because, science is about applying the concepts to case scenarios, and to do so you have to strengthen your understanding. You can ask for help from your teachers by booking consultations after school to clarify any doubts that you have. I’m sure that they’ll be glad to help. Hope my advice might help you in some way!
I understand and appreciate your advice, and i will use it! Thank youu
Hey @Goodmorning , I’m honoured that you tried taking my advice… I’m sorry that it didn’t go as planned, but I just wanted to say that I’m so proud of you for trying to talk to your parents. How will you determine if you are the top 30% in the cohort? Does your report book still have class and cohort rankings written on it?
I’m sorry to hear that this gave you so much anxiety… I hope you’re feeling better now. Hear from you soon? 
It must have been hurtful to have your parents dismiss your feelings… How did you manage to cope with your emotions?