Hi, decided to ask here since I’m not too sure about what I should do. This is mostly compiling of the issues I’ve had for the past few years which I haven’t really found anyone I am comfortable with opening up with.
Firstly, I’ve had a really bad sleeping schedule ever since I was a kid. Now, during school days, I get around 3-4 hours of sleep. On non-school days, I just sleep in until it’s 5pm and I find it hard to get up. I do take melatonin but I don’t like taking it, and sometimes when I try sleeping my brain is so hectic I can’t really catch my thoughts.
I also get a lot of mood swings. On some months I’d feel like i’m on top of the world — I will be doing a lot of things and loving my friends and not caring about consequences. And then I’d sort of like crash and not really be grounded in life. Sometimes I also say things I don’t mean and do impulsive actions that I will come to regret later on.
Currently I’m in sort of the lower end of that mood spectrum. I’m not really aware of my living surroundings and I feel sort of dissociative most of the time. There’s times where I talk to my head and other voices, and sometimes I’d even “shift” into them, where I’d still be aware of myself but also am the other person in my head.
Don’t really have anyone else to talk about this, my dad’s not too emotionally available and my mom passed away a long time ago. I also don’t really feel like this is much of a big deal since it’s not affecting my life too much — I was just wondering if anybody here could maybe shine a new light on my situation and maybe tell me what could possibly be going on.
hey @calin,
thanks for trusting us with all that — it’s really brave to open up, especially when you haven’t felt safe doing so with anyone before.
from what you shared, it sounds like your brain and heart have been carrying a lot for a long time. your sleep struggles, mood swings, and the voices… none of that sounds easy to sit with alone. and even though you said it’s not affecting your life “too much,” I can hear that it’s still tiring, confusing, and probably a bit scary at times.
do you feel if part of you has learned to live in survival mode for so long — figuring things out alone since your dad isn’t emotionally available and your mom passed on. and sometimes when we’re alone like that, our minds find their own way of coping.
you’re not weird or broken for feeling this way. and you’re definitely not alone.
it might be helpful to talk to someone trained who can listen without judgment — not to label you, but to help you understand what’s going on. if that feels too big now, maybe just start with writing down your thoughts or tracking how you feel day-to-day. small steps are still real steps.
you matter. and you deserve support that helps you feel more grounded, more you.
if you ever want to talk more about what the voices say, or what those “high” and “low” months feel like… we’re here. take your time, yeah?
Ur mood is affected by ur lack of sleep. U can get it solved first by a sleep doctor. I went thru that. Getting my full sleep everyday makes my mood better
Thank you for sharing your struggles. These things you are describing are really tough to navigate without someone to lean on.
What you’re experiencing (high and low mood, difficulties with sleep, the voices) could benefit from professional help. You deserve to feel safe, understood and cared for
Since you mentioned that it is not affecting your life too much, I would say seek help when you are ready. It is ok to take things at your own pace, and know that we are always here to support you
