Thank you for sharing with us your thoughts and feelings here, it takes bravery to do so and I really commend you for your vulnerability and bravery. I can see that you’re going through a tremendously challenging time, and it takes a lot of strength to share these feelings of stress and sadness - and these feelings are 101% valid.
Sometimes, struggling with anxiety at work and feeling stressed due to mistakes can be a heavy burden to bear. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to focus when anxiety and stress take over.
The fact that you’re also battling thoughts of wanting to die is deeply concerning. I want to encourage you to reach out for support/help immediately whenever you have thoughts of hurting yourself. Please save these numbers on your phone and keep them close to you, and contact them if you feel overwhelmed:
Also, what you’re describing—feeling an extreme level of sadness, especially when alone, and finding it hard to mask these feelings in social situations—is so real and I completely empathize with you. These symptoms sound like they align with depressive experiences. Depression is more than just a passing phase; it can impact various aspects of your life, affecting your ability to function at work, in social settings, and even in your personal time.
However, we can never be too sure unless we are assessed - so I encourage you to seek professional help to get an assessment and receive the support you need. You can also try out this tool to assess your mental health: https://mindline.sg/youth/assessment
Please know that depression is a valid and treatable condition. Seeking support and guidance, whether through therapy, counseling, or speaking to a mental health professional, can be immensely helpful. These professionals can assist in providing coping strategies, understanding the underlying causes of these feelings, and supporting you in navigating through these challenging emotions. They can also help you to process your thoughts and situation, and I encourage you to speak to one. You can either look for a therapist at a nearby Family Service Centre here: https://www.msf.gov.sg/docs/default-source/default-document-library/list-of-fscs-in-operation.pdf
Or you can speak to one online:
- Limitless : Talk To Someone - Limitless
- CPH chat : https://www.cphonlinecounselling.sg/hc/en-us
- IMH CHAT : https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Pages/default.aspx
- http://ec2.sg/ : https://fycs.org/ec2-sg
In the meantime, I would really encourage you to try these tools to help you when you’re feeling low or sad:
Last but not least, your feelings are completely valid and deserving of attention and care. You’re not alone in this, we are here with you.
Please keep us updated on how you’re doing and what your next steps are. We’ll hear from you soon.