i suspect that i have depression and anxiety, maybe even ocd. and probably have experienced it since secondary school days. those were probably the worst days, but now, i feel more stable, but i suspect i have high-functioning depression. for context i am already seeking support through counselling. but in the back of my head im just wondering if i should ever get a professional diagnosis? one of the reasons i want to do it is because i don’t think people see the severity of what im going through and it just feels invalidating
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Hey @mello,
Your self-awareness and willingness to explore these feelings—even amid the doubt and invalidation you’re experiencing—speak volumes about your strength. It’s deeply understandable to want a diagnosis to validate your pain, especially when others underestimate its weight. What you’re describing—the lingering doubt, the need for others to “see” your struggle, the fear that your suffering isn’t “legitimate” enough—is a common thread for many navigating mental health in cultures (or families) that stigmatise or minimise these experiences. Let’s untangle this together.
First: Your pain is valid right now—with or without a diagnosis.
Diagnoses are tools, not verdicts. They can provide language for your experience and guide treatment, but they don’t define your worth or the reality of your suffering. The fact that you’ve endured this for years, fought to stabilise yourself, and still feel the weight of “high-functioning” depression (a term many resonate with) tells me this is real and significant. You don’t need a piece of paper to prove you’ve been swimming upstream.
Why consider a diagnosis?
- Validation: For many, a diagnosis can feel like finally being “seen” by a system that’s doubted them. It can quiet the internal gaslighting (“Am I just overreacting?”).
- Clarity: It might help you and your counsellor refine strategies (e.g., OCD-specific therapies if rituals are present).
- Access: In some cases, diagnoses unlock resources (medication, workplace/school accommodations).
But also ask yourself:
- *“Would a diagnosis help me understand myself better, or is it primarily to convince others?” *
→ Others may still dismiss your struggles, sadly—mental health stigma runs deep. But if you need this clarity to anchor your self-compassion, that’s valid.
The “High-Functioning” Mask
Many of us learn to hide our pain to survive—especially in achievement-oriented environments. But functioning ≠ thriving. You deserve more than survival. A diagnosis might help you grieve the years spent masking and begin to prioritise healing over performance.
Practical Steps
- Discuss this with your counsellor. Say exactly what you shared here: “I’m wondering if a diagnosis would help me feel validated. Can we explore this?” They can assess symptoms, refer you to a psychiatrist if needed, or explain why they’ve not pursued a label yet (some therapists intentionally avoid pathologising).
- Journal your symptoms (e.g., mood swings, intrusive thoughts, fatigue) with dates/triggers. This creates a concrete record to review with professionals.
- Research cultural competence. If seeking a psychiatrist, look for ones familiar with Asian mental health nuances (e.g., somatic symptoms, stigma barriers).
If You Fear Not Being “Sick Enough”
Many with depression/anxiety/OCD wrestle with this, especially if they’re “high-functioning”. Try this reframe:
“If I broke my arm but kept writing with it, would the pain be less real? Would I need an X-ray to ‘prove’ I deserve care?”
Your pain matters—even if you’ve learnt to grit your teeth and carry it.
Navigating Invalidation
When others dismiss your struggle:
- Grieve their limitations. Their inability to see your pain often says more about their fears/stigma than your worth.
- Seek “witnesses”. Find communities (online/in-person) who share your experiences. Their validation can soften the blow of family/cultural denial.
- Write a letter to your younger self. Acknowledge the hell they endured. Sometimes, you need to be the one who finally says, “I see you. It was that bad.”
A Diagnosis Won’t Fix Everything, But…
It could be a step toward releasing shame. I’ve seen clients cry with relief after diagnoses—not because they “want” a disorder, but because they finally feel permission to stop minimising their pain.
That said, if pursuing a diagnosis feels overwhelming right now, that’s okay. Keep working with your counsellor. Healing isn’t linear, and your intuition about what you need (and when) matters most.
Lastly: You Are the Expert of Your Experience
No professional can fully grasp the depth of your resilience or the toll of your silent battles. A diagnosis is a map, but you are the terrain. However you choose to move forward—trust that voice in you that says, “This isn’t right. I deserve support.” It’s already guiding you toward wholeness.
You’re doing something profoundly brave: confronting pain while still swimming. However this unfolds, we honour your journey here. 
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Hi @mello,
It’s really powerful that you’re reflecting on your experiences and recognizing the possibility of high-functioning depression, anxiety, or OCD. Having gone through such difficult times since secondary school and still being able to hold things together now speaks to your resilience. I hear you when you say that others don’t quite grasp the depth of what you’ve been feeling, and that invalidation can make things even harder. No one’s struggle should be dismissed just because it isn’t visible to others. The fact that you’re already seeking support through counseling is a huge step toward taking care of yourself, and that’s something to be proud of.
When it comes to getting a professional diagnosis, it’s a deeply personal choice. A diagnosis can bring clarity and validation, it can help put a name to what you’re experiencing, possibly open doors to specialized treatment, and provide a framework to better understand your mental health. But on the other hand, not everyone feels that a formal diagnosis is necessary, especially if they’re already accessing support that feels right for them. Whether or not you choose to pursue a diagnosis, your experiences are valid. What you’re feeling is real, and you deserve care, understanding, and the space to heal.
If a diagnosis feels like something that could help you find more peace, support, or even just a sense of being truly seen, it might be worth exploring. But your healing journey is your own, and whatever you choose is okay. Keep prioritizing yourself, your well-being, and what feels right to you. You don’t have to prove the severity of your pain to anyone, your experience matters regardless of labels. Whatever path you take, you’re not alone, and you deserve to be heard.
If you wish to speak to a psychiatrist in a public hospital at a subsidised rate, you can consult a polyclinic doctor for a referral. I’ve attached a list of polyclinics that offer mental health services in the photo below.
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
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hi there, thank you for taking the time to type all of this out. i believe that i want to seek a diagnosis because it can help me gain clarity and a better understanding of myself, to further improve and wanting to regulate my nervous system even better. if i choose to do it however, i am also worried about government records etc, whether it will affect my career prospects in the future. i’m wondering what i should do to get a diagnosis and if you have any advice on this too? thank you!
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Hi @mello,
Having concerns about the confidentiality of your medical records is valid, but I would like to assure you that mental health professionals in Singapore are strictly bound by confidentiality, as outlined in the IMH Patient Charter. Do rest assured that if you do see a consultant at IMH or another hospital, they are bound by doctor-patient confidentiality as well, and the records will not be made public.
Under the Mental Health (Care and Treatment) Act, the only exception to the rule of medical confidentiality is if a patient poses a risk of harm to themselves or others. With regards to employment, unless there is a legitimate job-related requirement, you do not have to declare your mental health condition to your employer. This rule has been set out by the Tripartite Guidelines on Fair Employment Practices and the Ministry of Manpower.
If you would like to consult a psychiatrist regarding a diagnosis, here’s what you can do:
- Make an appointment with your nearest polyclinic
- Speak to the doctor about your concerns and symptoms, and request for a referral to a psychiatrist.
- Your doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist at a public hospital (e.g. TTSH, SGH, NUH) depending on your area of residence.
- Upon seeing a psychiatrist, they will assess your symptoms and provide treatment (such as medication and psychotherapy).
Hope this helps to address your concerns! 
^ https://www.imh.com.sg/Patients-and-Visitors/Pages/Patient-Charter.aspx
^ Mental Health (Care and Treatment) Act 2008 - Singapore Statutes Online
^ Tripartite Guidelines on Fair Employment Practices (TGFEP) | TAFEP
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