My friend and I mostly converse through text and whenever I have been sent a simple task to do, I might either miss out parts of the messages by not reading clearly, or even do things in my own way even though instructions been given and due to this habit, I complicate things and my friend feels frustrated having to constantly lecture me and feels that there hasn’t been any improvement on my end over the last few months. (I am trying my best and have been seeing a counsellor). What are some ways to break out of this habit? It is really unintentional and I seem to be struggling at it. I have tried to take a break before responding but at times I might forget.
Hi @cub
Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you’re really putting effort into making changes, and that’s both important and commendable. Please know that it can be tough to break habits, especially when you’re doing your best but it doesn’t always come across that way. It’s good that you’re seeing a counsellor, and that can certainly help you find new strategies to improve communication and focus.
I can see you’re seeking ways to address this and improve communication with your friend. When approaching this conversation with your friend, it’s important to focus on expressing your understanding of their feelings, your genuine desire to improve, and a willingness to collaborate on finding a solution that works for both of you.
I think it’s already a great first step that you are acknowledging your habit and working on addressing it. I suggest that to break the habit, here are some strategies that might help:
-
Take notes while reading: Whenever you receive a message with instructions or tasks, try writing down key points or important details. This will help you stay organised and give you a reference to avoid forgetting things.
-
Ask for clarification: If something is unclear, don’t hesitate to ask your friend for clarification before acting on the instructions. It can save time and frustration later on.
-
Pause before responding: You mentioned trying this, but it’s easy to forget. One trick could be to create a ritual—like counting to five or taking a deep breath before responding to messages. This can help you ensure you’re fully processing what was said before jumping into action.
-
Set reminders: You could try setting reminders for specific tasks your friend asks you to do. This would prompt you to follow through correctly and help avoid missing any details.
-
Simplify your approach: If you feel overwhelmed, try breaking down tasks into smaller steps. It might help you focus on completing one task at a time, instead of trying to handle everything at once.
As for breaking the habit of overlooking details or misinterpreting instructions, as mentioned in point 4 above, you might find that setting small reminders for yourself can make a huge difference. Maybe something like a note on your phone or even a habit tracker can help build the consistency you need. Additionally, being mindful of pausing before responding can give you a moment to process and really understand the task at hand.
It’s also important to remember that habits take time to change, and slipping up occasionally is a part of the process—what matters most is that you’re trying, and your friend will likely appreciate that effort. Keep at it and with practice, you will notice changes.
1 Like
Hello @cub ! It’s understandable that we may miss out here and there. Your friends will gradually see that you’ve been trying and putting in effort to kick off those habits. It’s really not easy to change and kick off those habits; thus, your effort is really commendable 
. Give yourself some time and don’t feel too pressured about changing it immediately.