Social awkwardness

Every time I talk to people I get super nervous and sometimes words don’t come out only incoherent sounds which leaves me super embarrassed when they ask me to repeat myself. But funnily enough I can be very open and friendly with certain people (Like random people e.g. a classmate) . The selection is super weird and idk how to fix it. Also it’s very hard for me to express myself like when my classmates are being super nice to me but I can’t reply cause nothing wants so come out of my mouth. Please help fix no glue no borax :pray::pray: (reckon not a lot will get the joke considering this website is for older people no offence tho y’all cool )

When I cut I’m doing it cause I feel like I deserve it but I don’t cry or anything. I just sit and cut and like oh ok then go to sleep. Cause like I feel like if I cry it’s not even that much worth to cry about cause other people have it worse yk. I have no reason to do it tho so idk why I continue. Just wanted to say it somewhere sorry for bad English .

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Hi there @Okayokaynotokay :wave:t2:

Thanks for coming on and sharing about what you’re going through with cutting and interacting with people that matter to you. :pensive: It must be rather frustrating and isolating with your experience, given that it still continues. I want to let you know that what you’re thinking and feeling are valid given your circumstances. :people_hugging:

You mentioned “not having a reason” for cutting and getting “super nervous” when expressing yourself - I wonder what goes through your mind at that time and just before it happens? What are some of the things you find yourself telling yourself, consciously or not? :thinking: Perhaps, there could be a need that is not being met or got taken away? All of us have an inherent need for support, comfort, growth, etc. regardless of background or upbringing.

I also wanna commend you on your self-awareness as that’s the first step in knowing you need help. And seeking support is a step in the right direction - impossible tasks can be achieved by breaking it down to smaller components and tackling the ones that are more achievable first! :smiley:

Have you spoken to anyone else you trust and can help you about this? Did something happen recently or has this been going on for awhile? Some people self-harm as a way to cope with overwhelming feelings and/or distressing thoughts. How did you use to cope when things got too much for you? And it sound like you wish to be able to cope differently as the relief you get is only temporary. I wonder if you’re able to express your feelings in other ways - or you can try to express them in a (more) helpful manner.

About your social interactions, it does sound perplexing that words don’t come out when you speak to certain people. Do you notice it happening with any particular people, like is there a pattern here? Similarly, what are some thoughts you have about yourself, or the other party or the situation just before you start to feel nervous or embarrased? This could give us an insight about working on some unhelpful thoughts or feelings to better manage the next time you find yourself in a similar situation. :mag:

While that happens, perhaps to help with the distress, you can modulate your stress levels by engaging in deep breathing and practice being kind to yourself when you’re not distressed as self-care is equally important for mental health :slightly_smiling_face: Let us know what you think about this and if things get too overwhelming for you, do consider support from professionals that can work with you in a safe and non-judgmental setting:

  • Samaritans of Singapore (1-767)
  • Family Service Centres
  • James Cook University Clinic
  • NIE Wellness Centre
  • NUS Clinical & Health Psychology Centre

Hope to hear from you soon. Until then, remember that you deserve and can get the necessary support you need, take care!

Heyyoo i would be confused if i were you too, not knowing why myself is sometimes friendly and sometimes super nervous. Maybe there are some patterns you cant spot yet, and perhaps listing out or journalling your experiences will help you identify patterns someday?
I feel its alright if youre not comfortable in some settings, maybe you can consider preparing a note of sorts, to show ppl when you just cant respond, at least youre able to give response in other ways, doesnt have to be verbal. Then progressively work on improving your response in such uncomfortable situation whenever you have the capacity for it. It’s okay to not be always open and sociable, so be kinder to yourself okiee!
With regards to cutting, i am so sorry to hear that :((( have you explored more with yourself why you feel like you deserve this? i dont think anyone deserves to be cut :people_hugging:
you not thinking you should cry because others have it worse, well that may be true, and i think everyone has their ups and downs, all these experiences are not comparable yknow. our expressions of emotions are ours to have, youre free to feel your experience and emotions fully yeah.

Hey there, thanks for sharing about your struggles… I think maybe it’d be helpful if you practiced at home, thinking of certain topics that you’re comfortable talking about first. When engaging in conversations with strangers, maybe it’d be helpful if you took charge of the convo (i.e. you start the convo and get it going) so that you can bring up the topics that you’ve identified that you’re comfortable with.

Hope this helps!

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Just wanted to add on and tell you that everyone has their own battles, and I don’t think it’s fair for you to belittle your own problems. Even though others may have it worse, your problems are still real. Have you tried other ways of coping?

Do reach out if you need help… You can DM me on IG @atikaooi.vox, I’ll be willing to listen to you :slight_smile:

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heyyy i do experience tht kind of feel of hvg social awkwardness. it rlly is very awk for me to. how i managed to cope it is to qn myself in tht situation. so the thought i have in mind is tht, why do i feel awk?? what makes me feel awk? is it the actions? or is it the topic tht they talk abt you cant rlly relate to?? if so den myb you can try to create a new convo which you think they might have interest in and this will then help you gain your courage. hope this helps:)

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