Thanks for sharing your feelings with us. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, and I want to firstly acknowledge the courage it takes to seek therapy and to express these feelings. It takes a great deal of strength to confront our emotions and to ask for help, and I want to assure you that you are not alone in this.
What you’ve described sounds like symptoms of depression and anxiety, and I can imagine that these can be very overwhelming and difficult to manage. It’s important to bear in mind that these feelings are not your fault, and you deserve the support and care to help you cope and heal.
It’s understandable to feel frustrated when grounding techniques like box breathing and other coping mechanisms don’t seem to work, but please know that there are also many other different techniques and strategies that can be further explored with your therapist that may work better for you. Some other examples include progressive muscle relaxation (1) and behavioural activation strategies. Behavioural activation is a way of helping you feel better by doing things that you enjoy and that are important to you. Sometimes when we’re feeling down or sad, we don’t feel like doing anything or we might not feel motivated to do the things we used to like to do. However, by starting to do those things again, even if it’s just a little bit at a time, we can start to feel better and more motivated. You could start by thinking of activities that you find rewarding and list them down here (2), then choose an activity that is most feasible to be incorporated into your current routine and put down a date and time for you to carry it out here (3). The idea is to try to engage in some of these activities again, even if for a short amount of time. I will link some references below for you to try out. It’s also important to note that therapy is a collaborative process, and I’d like to assure you that it is okay to communicate with your therapist about what is and what isn’t working for you in this recovery process.
I’d also like to address your concerns about getting too attached to your therapist. It is only natural to feel a strong connection with someone who provides you with emotional validation and support. However, the client-therapist relationship in therapy is one that is professional and should be maintained with clear boundaries. A good therapist will be able to help you navigate these boundaries while still offering you the support that you need in this time. I would encourage you to explore these concerns with your therapist so that you may work together to establish a healthy therapeutic relationship.
Lastly, I want to encourage you to continue seeking support and reaching out to those around you whom you trust and who care about you. It can be tough to open up and share about what you’re going through, but the people who love you would want to support and be there for you. You could also consider joining online support groups or continuing to lean on community forums such as this one to express your feelings, just as what you’ve done here. Your therapist should also be able to connect you with the appropriate resources and support as needed.
I’d like to end off by thanking you again for your courage in sharing. Please know that you are not alone, and that there is hope for healing and recovery for as long as you don’t give up on yourself. You’ve come a long way and we are here to support you. Feel free to follow up with any questions and thoughts, and I wish you well!
(1) Reduce Stress through Progressive Muscle Relaxation (3 of 3) - YouTube