Dear @illusional,
I’m sorry to hear you are feeling stressed. Thank you for sharing your situation. It takes a lot of courage to open up about such challenges, and it’s great that you’re already planning to work part-time to help lessen the load on your family. Balancing university studies, part-time work, and family expectations shows your strength and resilience.
It’s important to recognise the validity of your uncomfortable feelings while navigating these responsibilities. Simultaneously, consider that your parents may have approached you for various reasons beyond simply sharing stress. They might have aimed to be transparent about the family’s financial situation, sought your understanding and empathy, or discussed how everyone can collaborate to manage challenges ahead. Sometimes, it’s beneficial to directly ask what they hoped to achieve from the conversation. Take a moment to reflect and consider with curiosity: do you truly believe their intent was to stress you, or could it have been something else? Perhaps they view you as a young adult instead of just a child who is capable of handling uncomfortable conversations. Perhaps they were seeking empathy, validation, and support, which can flow both ways in a family system—from parents to children and vice versa. Try to reframe the situation by seeing it as an opportunity for family collaboration and mutual support. Recognising that everyone is doing their best under difficult circumstances can foster empathy and understanding. Talk to your brother about the situation. Even if he can’t help financially right away, having his emotional support can make a big difference.
External events can impact us only when our internal coping mechanisms are challenged. This situation could serve as valuable feedback on your current stress management strategies. This may be an opportunity to enhance your resilience and improve your ability to handle stress. Here are some strategies to consider:
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Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practice mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation to calm your mind and body during stressful times.
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Time Management: Create a schedule or to-do list to prioritise tasks and manage your time effectively. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps to reduce overwhelm.
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Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Maintain a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and limit caffeine and alcohol intake, as these can affect your stress levels and overall well-being.
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Problem-Solving Skills: Develop strategies to address specific stressors. Break down problems into manageable parts and brainstorm potential solutions.
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Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive and realistic ones. Practice gratitude and focus on what you can control.
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Professional Help: Consider speaking with a counsellor or therapist who can provide additional support and techniques tailored to your needs. University counselling services can provide support and strategies for managing stress. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them.
You can also have an open and honest conversation with your parents. Let them know how you’re feeling without blaming them. Explain that you understand their financial struggles and that you want to help, but the pressure is affecting you. This can help them see things from your perspective.
You may also want to look into financial aid options, scholarships, and grants that your university might offer. Many universities have resources to help students in financial need. This can significantly reduce the burden on your family. Alternatively, work out a detailed budget with your parents. This can help identify where you might save money or find additional financial support. There are often community resources and student discounts that can help reduce costs too.
Let’s also keep in mind that getting a degree is a long-term personal investment in your future. While it’s challenging now, it can lead to better job opportunities and financial stability for you and your family in the future. Focus on doing your best rather than being perfect. Set realistic goals and celebrate small achievements. It’s important to remind yourself that you’re doing your best under challenging circumstances.
It’s normal to feel stressed and pressured, but remember that you’re not alone. There are resources and people who can help you navigate this challenging time. Open communication, financial planning, and self-care are key to managing this situation.
I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! 
Take care,
CoolBreeze =)
