I do not know how to cope. I’m faced with immense pressure at work but i know some of it is self-imposed. As a result, I find it difficult to be happy at all. I worked very hard everyday but I don’t see results and instead I feel my confidence level becoming lower. I take it out on my boyfriend whom I only meet during the weekend by being difficult and hard to get along with. I feel incompetent and useless.
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Thank you for sharing your struggles, I hear you, and I can sense the weight of what you’re going through. It sounds very tough to go through such pressure, especially when it feels like it’s coming from both external sources and from within yourself. Feeling like your efforts aren’t yielding the results you desire can be truly disheartening, and it’s completely understandable that it’s affecting your confidence.
I can also understand that this stress is spilling over into your personal life, affecting your relationship with your boyfriend. It’s tough to compartmentalize when you’re carrying so much on your shoulders.
I do have some questions to ask, if you have time, you could reflect on them and let us know more:
- What specific aspects of your work environment or tasks are contributing most to the pressure you’re feeling?
- How might shifting your focus from solely outcomes to recognizing your efforts and progress along the way help alleviate some of the pressure and boost your confidence?
You know, feeling incompetent and useless is a common reaction to such pressure (I experience this too!), but it doesn’t reflect your true worth.
Here is one resource that might be helpful for you:
https://www.mindline.sg/workspace/article?type=resource&group=Managing%20Tough%20Work%20Situations&sub-group=Managing%20Overwhelming%20Workload&resource-id=478
I would also like to recommend trying some mindfulness exercises to help manage your stress levels. Deep breathing, meditation, or even taking short breaks throughout the day can make a big difference. Maybe you can also try to communicate with your boyfriend about how you’re feeling and the challenges you’re facing. Building a support system can help you feel less alone in dealing with these difficulties 
Let us know how you’re coping so far, ok? We’d love to hear from you again.
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Thank you. There isn’t one specific aspect of work that caused me stress. Rather it’s perhaps overthinking most of the time and having alot of self-doubt. For example, if i have to make a decision at work, I tend to spend a lot of time self-rationalising in my head then i made the right decision. And that affected my ability to focus on other things, or even be present. It even keeps me up at night and causes me to go into a panic attack sometimes.
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I can hear that you’re dealing with a heavy load of stress and self-doubt, which can definitely take a toll on your well-being. Here are three suggestions that might help you go through this challenging time:
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Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques
When you catch yourself overthinking or spiraling into self-doubt, try grounding yourself in the present moment. Deep breathing exercises, meditation, or simply focusing on your senses (like noticing the sensation of your breath or the feeling of your feet on the ground) can help bring you back to the present and calm your mind. -
Set boundaries and focus on your self-care! It’s important to carve out time for yourself and set healthy boundaries between work and personal life. You could schedule regular breaks during the day to recharge, engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation outside of work, and make sure you’re getting enough restful sleep. Please take care of yourself!
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Try to seek support and professional help! Don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues for support. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings with someone who listens non-judgmentally can provide relief
Therapy can be a safe space to explore and address the underlying causes of your stress and self-doubt, and to develop healthier ways of thinking and coping
Remember, we are also here for you and here to support you. Please take good care!
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Hey @Surprised_to_wake_up that sounds rough 
What are some questions which pop into your mind when self rationalising ?
I have had thoughts of incompetence creeping up to me from time to time and one time it got really overwhelming till the point where everything felt so negative. 
I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to go for counselling and it really did help me manage my feelings of incompetence. Like what @cottonsoul mentioned peacefulness and grounding techniques did help me 
Just acknowledging that the thought is there and like breathing in and out, counting objects helped me recalibrate my emotions when I am over thinking 
Not sure how that sounds to you maybe you can give it a try ?
By any means we are here for you heh so feel free to rant out if you need 
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I feel you. Sometimes when the project that you’re working on is too huge and the results are too far away, it can get very exhausting and disappointing to not see results or progress. Are you able to break down your work into smaller milestones? Getting some quick wins could help to bolster your confidence a bit more.
What does your boyfriend think? Has he remained supportive or is he voicing out concerns about your work stress affecting your relationship?
It might be hard sometimes to draw such a clear line between work and life. We’re humans after all and can’t “switch on” or “switch off” whenever we like.
Maybe instead of lashing out at your boyfriend, can try sharing your decision making process with him. Who knows he might be able to help you level up your thinking and improve your work.