Why am I so affected by other people’s issues? I realised that a lot of work stress does not come directly from my work but from hearing and knowing what my colleagues and my bosses have to handle. Seems like they have to be constantly on edge, even after work hours , constantly having to deal with emergencies and attend all the stressful big meetings. I feel the emotions like I’m in their shoes but it’s actually not me having to face that.
Being so drained constantly also affect my family and relationship as well. I will get irritated over small issues and feel guilty for it. Currently, my bf is facing some tough situation, but whenever I listen to him, I will start to get all these negative emotions as well. Then I will feel bad for me for not wanting to get too involved.
All these emotions are just so overwhelming. How does people stand this? Sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore. It’s so tiring.
Hello @user2405 yeahh it can get overwhelming sometimes when everyone comes to you to share their problems
What are some thoughts which run thru your mind when people share their problems with you ? Are you thinking of ways to help or just feel like the problems might come to you eventually ?
Thanks for coming on and sharing about your struggles getting caught up in overwhelming emotions that’s affecting yourself and your relationships. I want to let you know that what you’re thinking and feeling is valid given the circumstances.
I think you’re quite an empathetic person as you can feel how your workplace colleagues feel - like you say, “in their shoes”. This gives you the ability to have meaningful connections with others, although it also means understanding what the other person goes through (like high amount of work stress and constantly on edge) - which is a double-edged sword. Some very empathetic people tend to experience this pretty subconsciously, and it’s not done deliberately - unless doing so serves a function - perhaps to avoid something or gain something they’re lacking/not experiencing at the moment…
I wonder if you’ve experienced something like what you’re going through now before? This sorta sounds like you’re running low on your emotional cup, and if you’re pouring from an empty cup, I think it would make sense for you to feel drained and quick to be irritated due to your empathy. You’re right that this is tiring and finding it tough to be there for others especially with your partner. Perhaps this is a signal for you to take a step back, be kind to yourself, and shift (to a more helpful) perspective.
Have you had a chance to speak to others about this - to get support for yourself from those you trust and can help you, like your partner? An open and honest conversation using I statements: *I think/feel … because… and I would prefer that (what you would like done)*can help you get your concerns across and in a manner that others can listen and understand clearly.
What do you think about this? I hope you’re able to express your emotions in a helpful manner, and that you get to refill your cup back. Remember that you deserve and can get the necessary support you need. Hope to hear back from you, take care!
Usually when they share, I will try to see from their perspective and the emotions that comes along with it to understand what they are going through and provide support when necessary. However sometimes, this happens automatically even without them talking to me about it. I can simply see the work group chat active at night and I will feel stress and sad for my colleagues who have to deal with them. I see people post about sad things, I will feel sad with them.
I think for work wise, I also feel guilty since I am the only one in the company with a role that don’t need to face those issues. Although there are a lot of challenges and struggles for my role as well, to everyone, it seems like I got the better end of things. Sometimes, they will say things like “You are lucky you don’t have to face that” and I know I am but I can’t peacefully enjoy it too. In the end, there’s pressure from my own workload, stress gathered from sympathising others and also feeling bad that I’m the “lucky” one.
For relationship wise, I’m grateful that my partner is someone who is very understanding, despite him not being able to relate when I mentioned a bit about it before. However, I feel like work stress and other issues will never end and I shouldn’t keep using my poor emotional and mental state as an excuse for not being able to be fully present for my partner or my family.
Some very empathetic people tend to experience this pretty subconsciously, and it’s not done deliberately - unless doing so serves a function - perhaps to avoid something or gain something they’re lacking/not experiencing at the moment…
An open and honest conversation using I statements: *I think/feel … because… and I would prefer that (what you would like done)*can help you get your concerns across and in a manner that others can listen and understand clearly.