I feel like it has been disappointing and kind of hard for me transitioning into a new phase of life that’s Uni cause I didn’t know until now how uncomfortable I felt being surrounded by lots of people and friends and yet feel so lonely inside. And I get it that it will become harder as I get older because everyone will eventually become working adults, get married and have kids and so on, but it’s like sad. And I feel like I will never be able to be content in living life this way. There’s also like times where I want to free up my time to meet up with friends or even just chat via texting but a lot of times, I’m too tired to meet them and I don’t want them to feel bad for not letting me rest so it’s feels really messy:(
I recently listened to this song and I resonated with the lyrics so much. It’s called “8 million” by Kiran + nivi(it’s my first time listening to them btw!) i listened to to the chorus, and it says:
“Stop saying I’m pretty cause pretty girls don’t spend Friday nights alone in the kitchen / Stop saying I’m funny cause funny girls don’t lock themselves in a room to cry / Doesn’t matter how many friends I have / Cause truth is, I’ll sit down at 12am and the only face I see is me / If only eight billion people could help a bit”
And I related to the lyrics a lot (except the eight billion part, wanting eight billion people to help you of course sounds extreme and I don’t need that HELP) because I get told a couple of times that I’m pretty, am funny and outgoing and yet experience that loneliness on a daily basis and I never have the chance to say truthfully to anyone that I feel lonely. I know the way the lyrics are phrased is negative, but listening to that made me feel a bit more understood.
But yes it’s hard to navigate this that’s what I want to say😭
Oh yes another thing is there’s no ccas in my school cause it’s a private uni. And I’m also a dancer, which is why I say is not like I’m totally not in settings where I have to socialise. It just gets lonely especially in times like open classes where everybody comes with their friends and I come to class alone not knowing anybody. I don’t invite my friends in my closer circles to join me because none of them dances. And even if they do want to learn they want to learn another genre or are not avails so yea:sob: