I feel like it has been disappointing and kind of hard for me transitioning into a new phase of life that’s Uni cause I didn’t know until now how uncomfortable I felt being surrounded by lots of people and friends and yet feel so lonely inside. And I get it that it will become harder as I get older because everyone will eventually become working adults, get married and have kids and so on, but it’s like sad. And I feel like I will never be able to be content in living life this way. There’s also like times where I want to free up my time to meet up with friends or even just chat via texting but a lot of times, I’m too tired to meet them and I don’t want them to feel bad for not letting me rest so it’s feels really messy:(
I recently listened to this song and I resonated with the lyrics so much. It’s called “8 million” by Kiran + nivi(it’s my first time listening to them btw!) i listened to to the chorus, and it says:
“Stop saying I’m pretty cause pretty girls don’t spend Friday nights alone in the kitchen / Stop saying I’m funny cause funny girls don’t lock themselves in a room to cry / Doesn’t matter how many friends I have / Cause truth is, I’ll sit down at 12am and the only face I see is me / If only eight billion people could help a bit”
And I related to the lyrics a lot (except the eight billion part, wanting eight billion people to help you of course sounds extreme and I don’t need that HELP) because I get told a couple of times that I’m pretty, am funny and outgoing and yet experience that loneliness on a daily basis and I never have the chance to say truthfully to anyone that I feel lonely. I know the way the lyrics are phrased is negative, but listening to that made me feel a bit more understood.
But yes it’s hard to navigate this that’s what I want to say😭
Oh yes another thing is there’s no ccas in my school cause it’s a private uni. And I’m also a dancer, which is why I say is not like I’m totally not in settings where I have to socialise. It just gets lonely especially in times like open classes where everybody comes with their friends and I come to class alone not knowing anybody. I don’t invite my friends in my closer circles to join me because none of them dances. And even if they do want to learn they want to learn another genre or are not avails so yea:sob:
I’m past Uni now but I can tell you that what you are feeling is very valid. I still feel the same way from time to time, like you are in a crowd but feel like the loneliest person in the world.
You are aware of it, that’s the first step taken even if it doesn’t feel like it. For me a feeling of loneliness is a call to practice some simple self care or chakra grounding. That for me could be watching my favourite movie or listening to my favourite song and having a great big cry. Or taking a mindfulness walk in nature. I’ve tried so many things this year and I’m learning what suits me best.
Hang in there, try new things. If they are for you great, if they are not don’t pretend otherwise just to fit in. You will find your soul song, and for now just know that you are worthy of it.
hi there! im currently a y2 uni student, but i really resonate with what you feel! i feel that its harder to form genuine, lasting friendships in uni compared to our previous institutions :// and feeling tired is SOOO VALID!! dont be so hard on urself, ure already trying ur best to adapt to a new environment!! u dont have to have things all figured out now, u can slowly figure out what makes u content or how u want to live life! im rooting for u <33 (also i admire people who can dance HAHA) all the best and do take care, wishing u a great friday ahead! sending lots of love virtually
It sounds like you’re really navigating a tough emotional space right now, and I can hear how deeply you’re feeling the weight of loneliness and isolation, even when surrounded by people. It’s so hard when you have these moments where you’re expected to be “social” and “outgoing,” but inside it feels like you’re in a different place altogether. What you’re expressing is something a lot of people feel but don’t always talk about—like the dissonance between what people see on the outside versus how you feel on the inside.
Sometimes, the most difficult feelings to express are the ones that feel like contradictions—being surrounded by people but still feeling lonely. Maybe you could start by allowing yourself to be honest with your friends, even if it’s in small ways. It doesn’t have to be a big declaration. Like, “Hey, I’m really glad we get to hang out, but sometimes I feel a little disconnected and need a lot of time to recharge.” That way, you don’t have to hide your truth, and it might actually help them understand you more.
Also, I get that it’s not easy, but have you thought about looking into smaller communities or groups where people connect over shared interests, even if it’s not a formal club or organization? Maybe there’s a dance community where people meet outside class or other activities at your school where you could feel less isolated? You could even try reaching out to people in class, just one-on-one, instead of waiting for the group dynamic to form.
It’s clear that you’re doing a lot of self-reflection already, and I really admire that. Sometimes, just being able to express what you’re going through, even if it feels messy, is the first step to feeling less alone in it. What do you think? How are you feeling about where you are right now?
Hi @messedupbun! I agree life sucks when we don’t like the situation we are in. I understand the difficulty to socialise in uni. It requires a lot of effort and can be tiring. But remember, as you said your health should be your first priority.
For socialising in Uni, one method I use is to strike a conversation with potential module mates. Try to strike a conversation at least those whom you see repeatedly in class. You’ll never know you might even bump into a course mate.
As for CCAs, I know how a dancer with no other dance buddies feel. My primary school friends and I were all from the same cca which made me feel sooo good. Even in secondary school I had classmates all from the same cca. So its perfectly normal to feel lonely.
Don’t worry. You can try checking popular social media apps like telegram and discord for any channels or groups for those within your uni which give opportunities for you to socialise.
