Suffering in both school or work

Ask a Therapist Coping
1

Hello,

I just graduated from polytechnic. My GPA is (objectively) quite bad, with a score of 2.7x/4 and I know my only option is to study locally. I cannot go overseas.

Now, I have two options: study at a university or work.

The public unis I have applied to are increasingly rejecting me as the weeks go by, and I’m starting to wonder if I should look at private universities. Which are very expensive. Take SIM, for example. One single major starts at 40k, and double majors start at 60k (for 3-year programme.)

Despite my family having enough income, I don’t want to owe my father/or a bank or be in student loan debt- which means I have to work (most likely either full-time or an internship.)

What’s the problem with working?

Long story short: 1. Chronic Depression. I did a 20-week internship to graduate for my polytechnic. The job was a full-time internship, Mon-Fri, 9am to 6pm. And I am not saying my depression was the only stressful factor. There were other things like working team dynamics, navigating a corporate job for the first time, that was stressful. But pre-existing depression made everything worse.

Constant fatigue to the point of just falling asleep for the whole day during WFH (yes, I know, my bad), and psychosomatic pains triggered by stress (chest pain and headaches) made going to the office a nightmare. It felt like I was going through the motions, just counting down to the fateful day my internship would end.

2. My psychologist sessions clashed with the work timing. As an intern, I did not have AL (Annual Leave), and psychologists/counsellors do not give MCs. They give time chits. That’s how it is. My psychologist has two types of slots: Morning, or afternoon (1/3/4pm). As an intern, I had to take the timing that would clash least with my job. Which meant I had to see my psychologist at 8am in the morning. And to have all these heavy topics and feelings that you discussed at work be in…your head, and not tell anyone at work about it…it added on to my stress.

Safe to say, I’m not very excited about the prospect of a full-time job.

What’s the problem with school?
The problem with school is that, as they say, all roads lead to Rome, and I’ll still have to work full-time in the end. :)**

Anyway, my question is, for those who have mental health conditions, how do you deal with full-time work?**

2

hey. im not in a same situation but similar. I’m a stayout nsf w a 8-5 cause of depression. Although I can’t really say how to navigate this but i just tell my superior that i need some time off or a day break to see my psychologist or take a breather. I know they’re different but i think most people are understanding of the situation and might make some leeway for you.

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Dear @sugarcane2786

Thank you for reaching out. Hearing about your internship experience, it’s understandable that you felt overwhelmed during it.

From your post I can see what made it especially hard. It was your first corporate job with long hours, while you were struggling with depression and it was challenging to balance therapy appointments with work. You handled all these alone without support. Anyone would struggle under that kind of pressure.

Hence do be kind to yourself. It was a trying time and I believe you have also learnt many life lessons from your experience. To your credit you completed it despite the difficulties.

It was not an ideal internship, but it certainly does not define your entire future. I have seen that workplaces are all different, and unfortunately being an intern often implies less flexibility and support.

I think some people with depression survive full-time work not by “forcing themselves harder,” but by finding environments that are less chaotic, having supportive managers, protecting their mental health routines, and learning what pace is actually sustainable for them.

And regarding university, I feel it is okay to consider it even if work eventually comes after. I believe school could buy you time to stabilise mentally, rebuild confidence, and transition more gradually into working life. Your concerns about debt are valid as well. You may not need to rush into an extreme decision right now. A slower path, such as part time courses with part time work are viable options that could give you time to stabilise first and find your own balance between work, study, health and life. Keep your chin up and keep taking small steps along your own unique path.:yellow_heart: