Teammates not contributing and my tone get really aggressive when i talk. how to control and maintain anger?

how to control and maintain my anger whenever something goes wrong in the groupwork?

i do have groupmates who are not contributing at the start of a group project (it gets better now). during that period, i was really stressed and whenever there’s group project discussion and they are not contributing, my tone gets really angry. how do i control my anger?


Hey @justheretotry, welcome to the forum!

It’s completely understandable that dealing with unresponsive group members can be frustrating and stir up emotions. Instead of letting anger take over, maybe can try expressing your concerns in a calm and assertive manner. Use “I” statements to communicate how their lack of contribution affects you and the group, focusing on facts rather than accusations.

If the situation escalates and you feel anger rising, take a moment to pause and take a few deep breaths. This can help calm your immediate emotional response and give you a chance to collect your thoughts. Sometimes taking a walk helps too, or maybe just go to the toilet to calm down or something.

You mentioned that it’s better now, what do you think might have contributed to the change?

Hi @justheretotry

Thank you for sharing with us your struggles, I hear you, and it sounds like you’ve been going through a difficult situation with your group project. It’s completely understandable that when facing unresponsive group members, frustration and anger can indeed surface. I want to acknowledge and validate those feelings, that it’s okay to feel that way. However, there are some ways you can learn to try to manage these emotions when they come up.

Now, let’s explore a couple of strategies to help you manage and control your anger during group discussions:

  1. Mindful Breathing:
  • When you feel the anger rising, take a moment to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly. Repeat this process a few times. This simple mindfulness technique can help you regain composure and shift your focus away from frustration.
    Here’s another tool that may help, do practice with it! :slight_smile: - Mindful breathing tool
  1. Communication Techniques:
  • Try addressing the issue proactively. Instead of expressing anger directly, use “I” statements to communicate your feelings. For example, say something like, “I’ve noticed that there are times when our group discussions feel a bit challenging for me. I value everyone’s input, and I’m wondering if there’s a way we can ensure that everyone’s ideas are heard and incorporated.” This approach can help you to have an open communication and can lead to a more gentle group dynamic.

Remember, it’s okay to feel frustrated, and you can try to use these strategies to stay calm. If you find these strategies challenging, it might also be beneficial to explore these feelings further with a counselor or therapist (from a nearby Family Service Centre) who can provide extra support.

Hope these ideas can help, let us know how else to support you. Keep us updated on how you’re coping too please! Hear from you soon!

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