I’ve been struggling with chronic insomnia since my teenage years, and it’s worsened since I entered the workforce. The stress of adulting and other factors have made it even more difficult.
Have you ever been so desperate for sleep that you’ve tried everything to get some rest, yet also worried about harming yourself in the process?
I’ve tried everything from calming music and meditation to medication and sleep gummies, and even exercising during the day.
Don’t judge, but sometimes in my desperation for rest, I do a mixture of the above just to knock myself out for a night and pray that I would wake the next day.
Oh boy, I’m so exhausted really.
Updates about my situation…
I consulted a doctor and shared everything I’ve tried, including my desperation for sleep. The doctor suggested I visit another place for further treatment for a consultation, which I’m quite apprehensive about. Suddenly, the doctor remarked, “It seems like you’re not desperate enough about resolving your sleep issues.”
That really felt like a slap in my face for all my efforts trying to help with my sleep issues. what happened to empathy and listening skills? Most of the time he was interrupting me when I was trying to share on my efforts with the whole journey and my apprehension about seeking further consultations elsewhere.
I’m tired bouncing from public health care and repeatedly sharing everything. Maybe my life is not worth anything anymore.
Hi @Wildflower,
It makes complete sense that you’re exhausted. Not just from the insomnia itself, but from the emotional labour of trying so hard for so many years and still feeling unheard by those around you. When you described mixing different strategies just to get a few hours of rest, I hear someone who has been fighting for their well-being with everything they have, not someone who is careless or “not desperate enough.” That doctor’s comment landed on a very bad note, and it’s understandable that it felt like a slap after you opened up about your fears, your efforts, and your vulnerability.
I want to reflect something to you gently, but firmly. What that doctor said does not define your worth, your effort, or your right to care. I can see that you’re still reaching out (through this platform), still trying to understand what’s happening, still looking for ways to cope. You matter, even in the moments when you’re too tired to feel it.
On top of that, here are a few gentle, open‑ended questions that might help you sort through what you’re feeling and what you need right now:
- When you think about that consultation, what part of the interaction is still sitting heaviest with you?
- What kind of support or response do you wish the doctor had offered instead?
- What has helped you feel even a bit more grounded or less alone during past difficult periods?
- If you could set one boundary or one need for your next appointment, what would it be?
If you want, we can unpack any of these together at your pace.