I don’t really know what’s actually going on with me. But whenever I pass by people, I sometimes find myself hoping that they’d somehow notice that I’m not okay.
I don’t necessarily know what I want them to do. I think I just want someone to notice, to realize that I’m struggling without me having to explain everything myself.
It’s strange because at the same time, I keep telling myself that I’m fine and that what I’m going through isn’t a big enough reason to ask for help. But the fact that I keep wishing someone would notice makes me wonder if maybe some part of me really does want help.
I don’t know how to explain it properly, and I don’t even know exactly what I need. I just know that this feeling keeps coming back..
Hi @reliablecloud3697. That tension you’re noticing, where part of you wants to be seen while another part insists you’re fine, is actually really common. It doesn’t mean you’re confused or being irrational. It often means that the part of you that’s struggling hasn’t yet been given permission to ask for what it needs. So instead, it looks for other ways to be noticed.
The fact that you’re reflecting on this so clearly such as noticing the pattern, questioning what it might mean suggests you’re already listening to yourself more than you might realise.
I do want to gently push back on one thing though: the idea that what you’re going through isn’t “a big enough reason” to ask for help. That bar doesn’t really exist in the way we sometimes imagine it does. You don’t need to be in crisis to deserve support. Struggling quietly for a long time, feeling unseen, not knowing what you need, that’s enough.
It might be worth talking to someone you trust, or even a counsellor or therapist, not because something is seriously wrong, but because you clearly have something on your mind that’s been weighing on you, and you deserve a space to work through it properly.
Hi @reliablecloud3697
I know how that feels. Personally, I am in kind of a similar situation. People tend to take advantage of my empathy for presuming that I can do them favours no matter of what’s at stake - sometimes even my health. Thankfully, I am able to recognise that this pattern isn’t healthy. U are able to recognise that too! Great going.
I know how that feels. It’s more like you wanting someone to notice that you are struggling. While that may be something that can ease you into opening up, I would like to encourage you to “start showing the symptoms”. I too expected people to recognise that I am not okay. But, that rarely happened, making this process rather counter productive. So what I tried was to actively voice out that I was not feeling okay.
You do not need to manifest the feeling of not being okay. You can manifest “I’m gonna be okay, but meanwhile I need some help”. Honestly, in situations when you don’t know what might help, you can just talk to someone who just sees you. Like a counsellor or a therapist. Sometimes talking to a trusted friend also helps.
Wish you all the best!